Recently, I've seen a lot of articles about identifying as the "Mom" in your friend group. From "X Signs You're the Mom of Your Friend Group" to "How to Know You're the Mom-Friend," it seems like Mom-friends everywhere are uniting and taking care of the world, one friend at a time. But what if you're not the Mom of your friend group? What if you would characterize yourself as being a little bit...older? If it's not obvious enough from your friends calling you "Grandma" all the time, here are 24 signs you're the grandma of your friend group.
1. For starters, you have a never-ending supply of mints and Werther's Originals in your purse.
Before your friend can even finish asking, "Do you have a mint?" you already have three different options in your hand.
2. Your wardrobe consists of large sweaters, shawls, and plenty of long-sleeves and turtlenecks.
You are a firm believer that the Grandma-style is the new trend. Being cute can be comfortable too, you know.
3. And if you're not already wearing a sweater, you bring one.
Even in the dead of summer, you can be found with a cardigan in hand because at some point, you're going to be cold.
4. On the outside you wear Forever 21, but your inner grandma yearns to sport the latest Chico's fashion.
Honestly, you'll never find a better blazer/blouse combo than in Chico's. Not to mention their sweaters are comfy, colorful, and fashionable (by your grandmotherly standards). But all of your more hip friends stop you from buying clothes there when you're only 19.
Me when I show my friends the sweater heaven that is Chico's:
Me when they tell me to leave the store immediately because I'm at least four decades short of being able to acceptably shop there:
5. Slippers are your life and your soul.
And yes, I have an extra pair just in case.
6. You have an impeccable memory when it comes to birthdays...
but you literally can't remember anything else for the life of you, even if you write it down.
7. College was a difficult adjustment for your early bedtime habits.
I'd argue it is pretty much impossible to go to bed before 10:00 PM during the week with all of the homework you have to do. Having to adjust to staying up later was certainly a struggle, and more often than not, you woke up around 3:00 AM with your face in your textbook and thinking, "Dammit, not again!"
8. Yet you're the first one up every morning--no matter how late you were up last night.
It's like your body doesn't want you to sleep past 7:00 AM. But honestly, you're okay with--it gives you time to have your morning cup of coffee and a hearty breakfast before the rest of the house wakes up.
9. Sometimes you get to sleep in...
but sleeping in for us grandmas is really only until 9:00 or 9:30 AM.
10. You are in your absolute element when your school offers bingo night.
You win nearly every time. And when someone else wins, they receive a serious Grandma stank face.
11. You constantly ask your friends if they've eaten enough.
"Is that all you're eating?? No, no, you gotta eat more, here."
12. And you always worry about your friends.
You won't stop until they tell you exactly what is bothering them.
13. You're also brutally honest when your friends ask you for advice.
It's called tough love for a reason. I'm telling you this because I love you.
14. Everyone your age or somewhat younger is referred to as "the youth."
Because obviously you aren't also the youth.
15. And you have no problem judging them for their shenanigans.
"Those hooligans!"
16. You have no idea how to work technology.
iPad? Mac? Cell phone? Tinder? Fitbit? You'll stick to the books, thanks.
17. You can't keep up with today's trends and slang words.
Every week, one of your friends has to teach you a new slang word just to keep you up with the times. Immediately, you feel cooler. And maybe even...*hip*.
18. But just like any grandma, you get cranky...more often than you'd like.
You're cranky whenever you're tired or hungry...which is pretty much all the time. Thanks to my friends for dealing with me <3.
19. 9/10 times, you complain about an ache or pain in your body.
Most of the time it's your hip for absolutely no apparent reason.
20. You live for Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
Having the shows play back to back is a true blessing during the week.
21. Your ideal Friday night consists of reading, drinking tea, and lounging in a recliner with a large sweater and slippers.
And going to bed at 10:00 PM, of course.
22. When your friends convince you to go out, it's referred to as "Grandma's big night out."
Hey--grandmas can get jiggy with it, too, you know.
23. But they have to convince you to go out at least a day in advance so you can prepare accordingly.
If they haven't set plans in stone by 8 PM that night, you certainly aren't going.
24. What it feels like to be the Grandma of the friend group while you're out:
25. When you meet a bunch of other grandmas who reluctantly went out:
Don't be ashamed to be the grandma of your group. Grandmas are awesome. Embrace your inner grandma. Now, go enjoy some tea.
