Recently, most of the articles shared to my Facebook feed are about extremely depressing topics and while these topics are clearly important issues that need to be discussed, it feels almost necessary in order to maintain basic sanity that we remind ourselves not everything in the world is horrible. So here’s a list of completely random facts to do just that.
1. Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Starting off strong.
2. During the Cold War, the CIA considered parachuting large condoms marked “medium” into the Soviet Union, to convince local women that American men were “better."
It could've been the biggest penis joke in history. Missed opportunities.
3. It costs about 1.7 cents to make a penny.
Now if you ask me, that just doesn’t make “cents”. LOL, get it?
4. The price of clothing has decreased by 8.5 percent since 1992, even when adjusted for inflation.
Tell that to Urban Outfitters, am I right ladies?
5. Since vegans eat no animals, each vegan saves nearly 200 animals per year.
Just in case you’re one of those people that says, “not eating meat isn’t going to save animals anyway," just know you're wrong.
6.The feeling you get when something is so cute you want to squeeze it is called “cute aggression.”
And 98 percent of all people around puppies suffers from this horrible condition. Get help fast.
7. The word “defenestration” means the action of throwing something or someone out of a window.
If by chance you ever really needed a word for that.
8. James Madison weighed less than the average American teenage girl.
Okay...
9. George Washington never cut down a cherry tree.
This is like that time in high school when that one girl made up that thing about you and everyone was like "whaaaat" and you tried to deny it at first but it was too late and now it's just a fact and you're like "OK."
10. One of JFK's legs was shorter than the other, which contributed to his chronic back problems and also stopped him from enlisting in the military.
As far as I'm concerned he's still flawless.
I mean really,
Look at him.
Sigh. Anyway.
11. One pound of body fat is equal to 3,500 calories. To burn off 3,500 calories the average woman would need to do 6 step classes, walk briskly for almost 9 hours or run for 33 miles.
What's the point anyway?!?
12. A “butt load” is a real unit of measurement equivalent to 126 gallons.
“Hey can you go buy me 1/126 butt load of milk? Thanks.”
13. If Facebook were a country, it would be the fifth-largest country in the world, after China, India, the U.S. and Indonesia.
It would also be the first country to start in a college dorm room, but I'll let you decide what’s more impressive.
14. Pigs’ orgasms last for 30 minutes.
To be honest, I would've been okay not knowing that one but now you all get to suffer with me ha ha.
15. The official state vegetable of Oklahoma is the watermelon.
And that’s all you need to know about Oklahoma. Moving on.
16. Once Justin Bieber won the VMA he said to Jaden Smith: “I can’t stop smiling”, Jaden replied: “When U Smile, I Smile”.
I can confidently say this is the first time I've understood what Jaden Smith is saying.
17. Not all oranges are orange.
18. A “dancing plague” killed people in Strasbourg in 1518 when a woman started dancing in the street. She danced for about 6 days before being joined by roughly 400 more dancers.
And thus, the flash mob was born. Just kidding don't believe that.
19. If you eat a polar bear liver, you’ll probably die.
But more importantly, maybe reassess your decisions.
20. Dragonflies have shovel-shaped penises so they can scoop out their rivals’ sperm.
The more you know.
21. Marilyn Monroe had a higher IQ (163) than that of Albert Einstein (160).
Psh, guuuuuuurl.
22. The CEO of Food For The Poor is named Robin Mahfood.
This seems too good to be true.
23. The last time the Chicago Cubs won the baseball World Series, the Ottoman Empire still existed. And lollipops had not yet been invented. And women did not have the right to vote in the United States. And Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii and New Mexico were not yet states.
But I'm just sayin'.
24. The girlfriend of the guy who founded Match.com left him for a man she met on Match.com.
This upsets me more than it should.
25. And, last but not least, "dog food lid" backwards is "dildo of God."
You’ll never look at a dog food lid the same way again, and I will not apologize for it.
