It’s been 24 hours since I got the news. When I first got the call I couldn’t stop sobbing. I had to get home. I needed my friends and family. I was in denial. This couldn’t be real. They were going to text me any minute. It was a joke. It had to be. They were like a brother to me.
It all started with a car ride with a mutual friend. He said he had been binge watching Netflix. “Ooooh whatcha watching?” I asked. “It’s a girl show, but One Tree Hill.” He answered. “No way, ME TOO.” Instant best friends. It didn’t take long for our friendship to grow deeper. Before I knew it he was like family. My parents were used to seeing him over at any and every hour, my friends became our friends, honestly things couldn’t have been better. Except for the fact that we were both still upset with our ex’s and constantly cried and complained over the shoulda coulda woulda’s. I think that was one of his best qualities. He was always in his feels. Meaning that we could pour our hearts out and have the deepest conversations on a whims notice and it would be completely acceptable. He cares for people deeper than I thought possible. That’s what made him such an amazing friend. Then I went to college. First semester we still stayed pretty close. But then things got harder. College is hard. We had our ups and downs like every brother-sister does. We became those friends that didn’t talk every day, but when we did it was like we had never stopped. A week ago, that was the last time I got to hug him. Those hugs that make you feel safe and at home because he was bigger and stronger than me. There are so many stories I would love to tell. Just like everyone else that knew him, he had a way of making every moment a memorable one.
Then we lost him. He was driving drunk without a seat belt on. You think it won’t be you, until it is. Life is not guaranteed. We are not invincible. Please, don’t make the same mistake. My mom was hit by a drunk driver a while back, and now one of my closest friends died because he was one. You are putting yourself and others in danger. So I am begging you, don’t be the reason someone has to go 24 hours and all the days after without the ones they love.
Now, a whole day without him and I write with such a heavy heart. I still don’t want to believe it. I don’t want it to be real. I don’t want to have to go throughout my week pretending that everything is normal. I tried talking to God and it’s like a brick wall is in between us. There are no answers. I have never felt more broken. But just because I don’t feel God or see God, doesn’t mean He isn’t there. I have faith that God’s plan for his life was so much greater than what I can wrap my mind around. I have faith that even in times of death and sorrow, God is good. So I still have hope. Hope that although it may seem like darkness surrounds me, God will shine. I have peace in the fact that God has him up in Heaven looking down on us with a smile. I have joy because although my time with him was short, it was a pleasure to have been a friend of Joshua “Westcoast” Judy.
“It’s hard missing someone, but if you miss that someone that means you’re lucky, it means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing” – One Tree Hill
