I remember senior year of high school, the big conversation topic was “where are you going to college?” We fantasized about meeting new people, studying new subjects, and accomplishing our dreams. Sure, in between daydreams and the SATs, we dabbled in weekly debauchery. But there was nothing that could prepare us for what actually goes down in college. We heard the stereotypes of both Greek life and party life, but who knew we’d learn more than just how to flirt for free drinks. I’m not saying I know it all, but...
1. Save the red bull when making y-bombs, you can use them later for shots.
2. Frat boy and f*ck boy are synonyms.
3. If he's only Snapchat texting you, you're either a joke or a slam piece. You're better than that. Walk away.
4. Take cash out to the bar instead of your debit/credit card. You might either A) Lose it because let's face it; you have blackout tendencies or B) Buy the entire bar a round of shots because again, you have blackout tendencies.
5. Buy your liquor at Walmart, not Publix. You might save a dollar.
6. Don't sleep with your coworkers. Everyone will find out.
7. Going off number six don't sleep with boys in the same fraternity. Similar effect.
8. Going out after happy hour is never a good idea, but do it anyway.
9. Remember you're here for school, not to party. Respect your parents (but definitely still party).
10. Pedialyte will be your best friend on the morning after.
11. Download Uber/Lyft. Get home safely so you can tell your wild stories the next day.
12. If someone seems like they know what the hell they're doing with their life, they're better at bullshitting than you. Take notes.
13. Open Google, search "(insert your major) internships in (insert your city)". Your resume looked pretty weak anyway.
14. Relationships in college are only good for free food and below average compliments.
15. Bonus tip: long distance relationships are only good for abandoning your friends and fights that take place primarily via text.
18. Proccolino's (the pizza place in between Stagger Inn and Public House) is way better and cheaper than Lazy Moon. I recommend.
19. Be a trisexual. Try everything once, twice if you like it, three times to make sure.
20. No matter what you've done, own it. Being honest with yourself is the best way to gain respect.
21. If you happen to have extra money, dinner is on you. Your friends deal with your crazy ass, and deserve to be spoiled.
