Exactly one week from today, I will turn the big 2-1. I'm really excited but more amazed at how much time really does fly in an instance. But turning 21 means more than just becoming "legal"—even though I am much looking forward to it. It's looking over the two decades of experience in life you've learned and sharing those experiences with others! And before I turn 21, let me share those lessons I've learned in this crazy life with you.
1. "Less is more."
My mom would say this reference to me for almost every situation, and it has taken me almost this long to realize how right and relevant this statement is to a number of different situations. Sometimes it's really better to use or have less in your life to appreciate those things more. For example, I learned that having two or three close friends is way better than having 10-15 good friends so you can appreciate them and your closer bond, because... less is more.
2. Sleep is greater than anything.
Believe me, I know you've heard, "Never underestimate a good night's sleep" before, but it really is true. Since attending college and trying to juggle a good academic, work and social life, life itself can come exhausting. So even if it is for 20 minutes, take a quick snooze or try to commit to a decent bed time at night. You will be surprised what good it can do your physical and mental health.
3. Don't be ashamed of what you love to do.
It was always a natural habit of mine to hide the things I was truly passionate about, having that fear of being ridiculed, or getting picked on for being different. As I've gotten older, I didn't want to hide it anymore, and thought who cares? I love the things I do and watch, so it became easier to not care of what people thought because in reality, everyone likes something different. I don't have to prove to anyone why I like something as much as WWE for example. My boyfriend and I are really into it and sometimes we get strange looks and comments about it, but it's what brings us close because it's something we enjoy together, and it's nothing to be ashamed about because it's what makes you you.
4. Try something new when you can.
Even if you are content with the things you like and could never get bored of your hobbies, it's still important to try something new, because life is so full of memories, and the best memories made are the new and unexpected. If you try something new, it's gaining life experience, and that's something you won't look back on in 50 years and regret doing.
5. You won't (and can't) get along with everyone.
One of the biggest problems I have personally is when someone doesn't like me, because I am the type of person to make friends with everyone, and try my hardest to come off kind and helpful. But if one way or another, someone just doesn't like you—even when you tried your best to change their mind—accept it and move on. Don't waste time on that someone. Focus on the people who appreciate the person you are.
6. Take care of your mind and body.
I know in a lot of articles this is said a lot, but it really is very important. The way you care for your body contributes to the way you feel, act toward others and look (obviously). This also goes for your mental health too. You should have at least a couple ways you like to de-stress after a long day of work and school.
7. Body image is not everything!
I know as a woman, I experience the ways women are labeled by the size of their body and are expected to have the ideal body type that is portrayed by the media. Whether you're skinny, fit, curvy, tall or short, you are beautiful in your own way. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Yes, it's really important to take care of your body, but don't let the way you look and other people's opinions on how you're "supposed" to look define who you are. To be honest, every woman in the world—all shapes and sizes—can look super sexy in heels and a black dress, so rock that body, girl.
8. Your gut is always right.
Listen to that sinking feeling in your stomach that never goes away, trust me. Just go with it or you'll regret it.
9. Going with the flow isn't necessarily a bad thing.
One of the biggest ways I've seen myself change is how I transitioned from worrying too much about my future and following my "plan" to graduate to having an almost carefree attitude. Of course, I have a general idea of what I want to do with my life in the future, but I rely less on that specific plan because it's more stressful to follow a specific plan and not have it pan out the way you expected it to. Focus on your goals while enjoying your life in the moment, and enjoy the ride.
10. Friends and family will come and go out of your life.
This was the hardest lesson I had to accept: Watching some of your friends and family members stop caring, stop talking to you, and you learn they are not the people you thought they were. Yeah, it hurts, but it's something to be expected in life that I really wish wasn't true. But the best thing to do in that situation is to pick up and move on, because life keeps moving.
11. The best people stumble into your life when you least expect it.
Even when you lose someone, there are enough people in the world for you to make an everlasting relationship with. And believe it or not, the best ones come completely out of nowhere. No matter what the story for how you met is, there's a reason you two (or more) met and created a bond from starting out as strangers, and those are truly the best people you want to stay in your life.
12. Always be kind to others, especially strangers.
The reality about strangers is... that they're strangers. Which means you know nothing about who they are as a person and what their life story is, so don't assume you know things and use that as an excuse to be rude to them. Make the better choice to always give others the respect and kindness that you would want as well. Because you never know how bad of a day a stranger is experiencing. It only takes one person like you to go above and beyond to do something nice for them, even if it's something as silly as smiling at them and saying, "I hope you have an amazing day." It will make you feel good yourself too. Kindness always.
13. Life is confusing and unpredictable.
When certain situations transpire in your life, it's super easy to question the meaning of life and how you can contribute your part here. Well, there really is no answer. The lesson is that life is confusing and unpredictable. There will be certain situations in life that you will forever question and might never understand. Don't—it will drive you insane. Just go with the flow and take life as it comes.
14. Your immediate family never goes away.
If one lesson proved me wrong from when I was a kid, it would be this one. Not that I didn't have any faith in it, but I didn't realize how possible it was for a family to be as close and honest with each other until we had to go through our own personal experiences and fight through it together. And then you realize that the majority of your first 21 years of life is with your family, and no matter what the situation was, they never gave up on you. Having a close family is worth it, because it's nice to know you always have people you can rely on and how important it is to remain close.
15. Never compare yourself to others.
You were created to be you, not anyone else. It's good to have role models to look up to and to learn from, but it's more important to create your own identity, learn from yourself and the mistakes you make. When you compare yourself to others, it will make your life depressing when you try to create this unrealistic image of you. Everyone is different in their own way: they learn, approach and do things differently, and that's something that shouldn't intimidate you. Do things at your own pace.
16. Put yourself first.
The biggest problem I have is caring and putting other people's needs before mine. No, it's not necessarily a bad thing, but I had to learn that some people will take advantage of how much you care and can make your caring heart and personality feel used. So as much as it's perfectly fine to care for others, do yourself the favor and care for yourself first. It's okay to be a little selfish when it comes to yourself. It is your life. When you start doing more things for you, you will be more effective and happy.
17. The small things in life really mean the most—take advantage.
When you're a kid, you think that only the biggest and more expensive things in life will make you the happiest, when in reality it's not. It's the "in the moment" moments that can make you feel at your happiest: your first kiss, nailing your first job interview, seeing your child walk for the first time. Those are those real moments you should recognize and take full advantage of because they go so fast sometimes. Appreciate them now. I used to think that diamonds and necklaces and getting roses were the ideal ways to keeping me happy in a relationship, but I am more happy to see my boyfriend spontaneously cook dinner for me or even something small as watching our favorite show at night before going to bed. Those are the memories that I want forever in my heart.
18. Mistakes will happen. Embrace them and accept failure.
Believe me, I hate making mistakes more than anyone, and I am still teaching myself how to accept it, because I am a perfectionist who really doesn't like the feeling of failing at something. But unfortunately, it happens. And instead of letting it take the best of us, try your best to embrace it as a life lesson, because 95 percent of the time you make a mistake, you try your absolute hardest to never do it again. But in the end, we are all human, and humans make mistakes!
19. There's nothing that ice cream can't fix!
I think all humans around the world can agree that there is some type of magical healing power in eating a whole pint of ice cream on the couch while watching Netflix. I love it. So whenever those mistakes or bad days come around, and you just don't feel like talking to anyone, don't underestimate some alone time and your ice cream.
20. Don't take yourself too seriously.
You're never too young to be silly and have an imagination. Don't let adulting control you! Be yourself, enjoy yourself, laugh at yourself and your mistakes, and don't forget to dance every once in a while!
21. You won't love life unless you love yourself first. But don't worry, you're still growing up.
Surprisingly, one of the hardest things in life for humans is to love themselves, even when they know that their friends and family love them. Sometimes you just can't convince someone how great they really are. I too still have moments where I look at myself in the mirror, questioning what good things I bring to others and why I am worth being with, but even when I am turning a significant age such as 21, I have a lot more years to live, to learn and to love myself. I am not done changing, growing and experiencing life. Even though some of these moments will be bad, there will be good as well.
All I can hope for is that these memories as I approach 21 and enter a new phase of my life, I can learn more things, gain new perspectives and apply it to my life where it will be a happy one!
