It's that time of year...you know what time I'm talking about. It's cold outside, you're bored inside, and your relationship with Netflix is getting a little out of control. You've gotten comfortable in your classes, and you haven't had to do any major cram nights yet. You still feel like the semester just started, but then you realize you're already a month and a half in, and you start to sweat.
That's when it hits: Midterm Week. As a senior, you would think I would have gotten used to it by now...but no. It still sneaks up and slaps me across the face, sending a shock through me that is only a combination of fear, dread, and the motivation that the weekend has to come at some point. You know the feeling.
When you are looking at all your scattered syllabi shaking your head in defeat from the amount of crap you have to throw together in such a small amount of time. But what I have learned as a senior is that you just have to push through it; but don't push it too far off. The more you push it off, the more you're in for what is guaranteed to be a long-a** test of your stamina, study skills, and sanity.
You are in for the ultimate night of doom. The night that we all try to avoid, but eventually catches up to us. It's the longest. It's the worst. It's the All-Nighter. To anyone who has made it through an All-Nigher, I salute you. We made it through the assignments, the midnight snacks, the delirium. We lived to tell the tale. So here are 21 thoughts I know all All-Nighter survivors have thought at some point in their cram-sesh. And to those who have yet to experience the wonders of the All-Nighter for themselves, here's how not to do it!
1. *Looks at syllabi early in the day* "OK, I got this!"
That doesn't look nearly as bad as you were expecting it to. You've mapped out a schedule of what's due when the next day, you're organized, you basically know what you're going to do for each assignment anyway. Why worry? I mean it's not like you're going in blind, you have gone to class after all.
2. Once this episode is done...
Well, you already established that it's not going to as bad as you thought...so what's the harm? I mean it's just one, two tops.
Three?
Four...Ok, you should probably get started now.
Five. Screw you, Netflix.
3. Um. So this is a little bit more than I thought it would be.
Now that you are seeing all the assignments at once, you have no idea where to begin. You have a quiz, two smaller assignments, reading, and a paper. All due tomorrow. Feel free to panic now.
4. ARE MY PROFESSORS TRYING TO KILL ME?!
WHY DO ALL OF THESE HAVE TO BE DUE AT THE SAME FREAKING TIME. This can't even be blamed on procrastination. I mean, it's like they all get together and are like "Alright, so this 24-hour block for due dates? We all agree?". Procrastination has nothing to do with it.
5. I really shouldn't have procrastinated this much.
I mean you knew it was going to be a busy week. You did a good job in the beginning but then you needed a break, and that break lasted way longer than you meant it to, and now here you are; surrounded by papers, staring at a screen with a million tabs open, computer chargers and phone chargers and whatever other kind of chargers making a weird web around you and you know you're trapped. Possibly forever, who knows. But you're doing work so don't try to get out now.
6. Woah...First assignment down! Well this isn't that bad!
Alright, you just had to get started. You got those juices flowing and boom. Started getting things done. Good for you.
7. I'm on a roll!
Psh.. why did you even think this was bad in the first place?! You're actually ahead of where you thought you'd be by now! You're killing it. Proud of you.
8. Second assignment down! You know what I deserve. A BREAK.
Ahhh, to break free of the web of chargers, out of the room you've been stuffed into for so long! You stretch your legs and stroll through the house. It's at this point, that you realized your butt might be permanently injured from the crappy plastic desk chair you've been sitting in for the past four and a half hours. You deserve a little break.
9. Why did I take that long of a break?! I said a little break. That was not a little break...
Ok, so you saw your housemates for the first time that day so you were hanging out for a bit. Did you have to stay for every story from last night? No, but they were hilarious, so why not? You enjoyed yourself, so that's all that matters, right? Wrong. A little break is not 3 hours. That is a big break. Ugh, didn't we learn this before with the Netflix thing?
10. Ok back to work. Focus.
You got this. Only the paper left. One. Assignment. Left. ONE. I have faith in you. You may get to sleep after all.
11. WHY DID I SAVE THE HARDEST ONE FOR LAST?!
I knew the paper would take a while, but I also thought I would understand it going in. Why does this look so complicated?? I spoke too soon. No sleep for you.
12. Ummmmm.........huh?
I mean are the instructions even written in a real language? I have no idea what I am supposed to do for this. I'm just going to keep staring at these papers and underlining things until it all starts to make sense.
13. Ok I think I'm getting it!....LOOK AT ME GO! :D
Where is this coming from?? You are a paper master. You thought those instructions were tricking you up? That's behind you now. You're cruising. You're already three pages deep. Keep up the good work!
14. I'm just gonna pop on *WHATEVER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU USE* really quick. Just to see what's going on.
No. Don't do it. It's a trap! Go back! YOU WERE DOING SO WELL COME ON.
15. Well, there's a half hour wasted.............
Every time you say "really quick", you know you're lying. You get sucked into the mindless scrolling, tapping on anything that will keep the chain going to avoid going back to work. I guess you should probably do that now...
16. Back to business, seriously no more distractions.
This is it. The final push. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You finally are on a real writing spree! Everything is ready to be written out, you know exactly what you want to say, you just have to say it! You've been working hours for this, and it's about to pay off. (Cue epic homework montage.."Final Countdown" playing in the background)
17. HOLD UP. Seriously wait. Is it really 5:30 in the morning?!
How long have you been sitting in that chair?? Have you even moved a muscle in the last hour?! Of course your fingers are clacking away on the keyboard, seemingly detached with a mind of their own, pushing to finish so you can catch at least a little sleep before your class that morning. You're still killing it! You've definitely go this! Just a teeny bit more!
18. UGHHHHHHHH AG;KAN;VKNADSVNAV;
Grunts and nonsensical sounds are the only noises you can make to express your mood right now. You are SO CLOSE to being finished with your night of torture, and yet you're not there yet. Final edits (at this point... what are those?), citations, a numerous other nuisances stand in the way of you and your bed, you can almost feel the blankets engulfing you.....
19. YES PRAISE THE ALL-NIGHTER GODS I MADE IT. I AM FINALLY FINISHED.
You would not be here without the help of Netflix, girl scout cookies, absurd amounts of cheese puffs, and coffee here tonight. Now there is nothing standing between you and your bed, and you are about to swan dive into a pile of sleepy happiness.
20. .............My alarm is going to go off in 2 hours...Do I even sleep at this point?
Ehh why not? A catnap could never hurt, right? Ok. So if I fall asleep right this second, I will get 1 hr and 55 minutes of sleep. Not bad.
Ok if I fell asleep right this second, I'll get 1 hour a 32 mins.
1 hour 14 minutes.......58 minutes...45..........
*ALARM.*
21. I am NEVER pulling an all-nighter again.
Ok, champ. Whatever you say.
