They say you never forget your first love. It's always been you, Diet Coke. We've been through a lot together though the years. I will keep our memories close to my heart forever, even the not-so-good ones (I'm talking about that day I dropped the cup holder in the McDonald's drive-thru and killed four of you). You've been a part of me for so long; you're like family. And you, Diet Coke, have ruined me. I lose time thinking about you. You keep me sane, and you give me the courage and strength I need to get through my days. I schedule my life around you. I’m grateful for you, believe me, but it’s getting out of hand. Don’t get me wrong--I would not be the person I am today if I had never known you. But it's time we discussed what you've done to me.

Here are a few things that happen if you love Diet Coke like I love Diet Coke.

1. One can a day isn’t enough.

2. Three is normal.

3. Any more than that isn’t a surprise, though.

4. Lack of caffeine means serious headaches. (Therefore, Diet Coke keeps you healthy.)

5. You drive to McDonald’s only to get a large Diet Coke.

6. You have your $1.06 ready before you leave. Sometimes in all change.

7. You know styrofoam cups are the way to go. You are not trying to get dripped on. And you are pissed when you request one but they forget.

8. If you get a regular Coke on accident, you know when you take that first sip. And then you spit it out. And throw it away.

9. Buying two 24-packs seems reasonable for one week. If you're lucky, it'll last you longer than that.

10. Drinking those 48 cans in five days is also okay. I use that word loosely.

11. Somehow you justify spending $30 on a Diet Coke can costume for Halloween. Because you know you'll wear it so many more times after this holiday.

12. You have asked your mom to sew you an original Diet Coke Halloween costume. Talking about you, Carrie.

13. You cry if someone spontaneously buys you one. S/O Mollie.

14. Deciding on what to give up for Lent is never a challenge. But keeping your word is.

15. You have a love/hate relationship with the “Share a Coke” campaign.

16. Mostly hate. Especially if your name is Ellie and it’s NEVER on a bottle.

17. But you stay strong and keep looking. Sometimes you spend a whole day driving to multiple stores searching for your name. I'm still really bitter that I've still never found my name.

18. When you’re too lazy to go buy one, you text everyone you know, hoping a kind soul will pity you enough to deliver one to you. Usually you're unsuccessful.

19. You have formed an (invalid) argument and are prepared to use it when someone tells you how unhealthy it really is. Aspartame ROCKS!

20. You often intentionally avoid places that have Pepsi products. Sorry, Culver’s.

21. Sometimes you bring your own Diet Coke to said establishments. Sorry, Panera