The key to 21st birthdays is remembering it's a marathon, not a sprint. Please take my advice young grasshopper and good luck to you on your joyous day..
1. This one is key. DO NOT TAKE 21 SHOTS. It's your birthday, not your funeral.
2. Don't yell "I'm 21" at the top of your lungs...as if your yellow papers weren't obvious enough.
3. Do not order a vodka cranberry. Rookie move.
4. Don't make a Facebook invite months ahead of time. Your friends know when your 21st birthday is, you haven't shut up about it.
5. Don't go downtown for two-for-ones. You have plenty of time for that and chances are you had enough "blow job" shots at dinner.
6. Don't go to the same restaurant for dinner as your last seven friends that turned 21.
7. Don't go out the night before. Rest up, you're signed up for a marathon remember?
8. Don't skip a meal. Your stomach is counting on you!
9. Do NOT forget your dear friend H2O. (On that note, keep a bottle of water and some Advil on your night stand and thank me later.)
10. Don't be a "birthdayzilla" (yes it's a thing), it's your day sure, but my guess is you'd like to keep your friends.
11. Don't forget underwear... I know this sounds silly, but I know you wanna wear that dress you just bought and I'm sure you'll end up dancing at some point.
12. Don't forget to take a nap! (just remember to set an alarm so you don't sleep through your night.)
13. DO NOT CRY. PLEASE, for the sake of everyone.
14. Don't take a shot to start the day. Mimosas are a lot classier way to start this reckless day.
15. Don't be boy crazy. Your friends came out to celebrate you being 21.
16. DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND. Self explanatory.
17. Don't yell at your cab/sober driver. They're just trying to get you from point A to point B.
18. On that note, don't pull shit with the bouncer. I guarantee he can ruin your day in .2 seconds.
19. Don't invite the people that are gonna be drama. This day is all about fun!
20. Don't fall asleep at the bar.
21. Don't try to walk home, especially alone. If you can't find a sober ride, call a cab.
You may not take all of my advice, but just remember, slow and steady wins the race. My best wishes to you.
xoxo.
