21 Ways President Trump Will Change America | The Odyssey Online
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21 Ways President Trump Will Change America

I pledge allegiance, to the Donald.

Dillon Havens
Jun 17, 2015
Purdue University
80
21 Ways President Trump Will Change America
USA Today

With President Donald Trump in the Oval Office, Americans can expect things to look very different beginning on January 20, 2017. The Donald is a businessman, and a damn good one. He's got his hands in real estate, hotels, golf courses, and even television, so expect him to run this country like the savvy businessman he is.

Here's what to expect in Trump's first 100 days in office.

1. President The Donald will issue an executive order outlawing mockery of his hair.

2. Air Force One will be renamed Air Force One-Percent.

3. The presidential seal will be changed to the Trump International Golf Club logo.

4. The country will be incorporated in Delaware and renamed the United States of America, LLC.

5. His cabinet will be filled with winners of "The Apprentice."

6. His walk-out song as he approaches the podium to address the nation will be "Donald Trump" by Mac Miller.

7. Unemployment will increase because he's going to fire all non-essential employees.

8. The winner of Miss USA will become First Lady, and the pageant will be held during a session of congress.

9. Corporations will be able to buy ad space on national monuments and in national parks.

10. His job creation plan will center on building more golf courses and hotels.

11. Ivanka Trump will be one smokin' hot First Daughter and an equally competent White House Press Secretary, able to make the mostly male press corps swoon.

12. Scotland will close their borders to American tourism due to bad blood with our new head of state.

13. A new cabinet position will be created: Secretary of Hair Maintenance.

14. If you bad-mouth the administration on Twitter, he will personally reply and call you a loser.

15. A horizontal section will be added atop the Washington Monument to form the Trump T.

16. He will relocate the capital to New York and run the country from the Trump Tower.

17. Apparently, Mexico will build a wall to keep its citizens out of our country and will pay for it themselves.

18. We will discover a new source of renewable energy to compensate for the dismantling of the wind turbine industry.

19. His book "The Art of the Deal" will become the training manual for all federal jobs.

20. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will be converted into a hotel, and renamed the White House Resort and Casino.

21. The one thing we won't see, is the popularization of Trump's hairdo.

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