For anyone who has had the honor of finding and dating a vegan, you know there are some experiences you can get with no other type of person. And if you both happen to be vegans, you've basically hit the jackpot. But how can you be sure if you're with a vegan? Are there ways of telling? Sure! If uncertain that you are in fact dating a vegan, here are 21 signs to look out for!
Dedicated to my very own vegan boyfriend!
1. If you're already vegan, you don’t have to explain your morals to them.
"I don't drink milk because -- oh, wait -- you already understand!"
2. They give you a bouquet of broccoli instead of flowers.
"Who needs flowers when we can chop up this organic broccoli head later and feed it to each other?"
3. Your nicknames are always cruelty-free.
"You are such a sexy bean sprout! Mmhmm!"
4. You both argue vegan comebacks even though you’re already vegans.
"And remember that time my cousin said soy gives you boobs? Yeah, yeah, that's what I told him, but I have an even better response!"
5. They have to search Happy Cow before embarking on a new restaurant.
"No way! We have three vegan restaurants on this street alone! Where would we be without Happy Cow?!"
6. They cry watching all animal movies.
"Pass me the tissues! Did you see the way that dog put his head on her lap?"
7. You wear matching vegan apparel.
"I'll wear my 'not your mom, not your milk' if you wear your 'vegan ninja' T-shirt to the farmer's market."
8. Visiting an animal sanctuary is their idea of the best vacation.
"This is the best day of my life: hugging animals with you for hours!"
9. Even the sex jokes are vegan.
"Sweetie, I know you think it's corny but...I would like to give a kiss tofu."
10. They teach you new things like brewing kombucha, making a flax egg, and speed-reading food labels.
"You're a kombucha master now!" [Bows.]
11. They talk about rescuing 10 cats, four dogs, two pigs, a cow, and one of every species of mammal.
"And then I'm going to buy a sanctuary and live out my days in the countryside surrounded by hundreds of beautiful animals!"
12. Your pets are your actual babies.
"I think it's time we started talking about adoption."
13. They know what seitan, nutritional yeast, Earth Balance, and HCLFV are.
"Hey, babe." [Whispers] "Hail seitan."
14. You fight over leftovers, the best vegan YouTubers, and your favorite flavor of So Delicious ice cream.
"How can you be a traitor? We all know cookie dough is the best one!"
15. They christen every room they enter with nooch like it’s glitter.
"Come on, love! Grab a bucket and just sprinkle it like kindness."
16. They send you pictures of their SCOBY instead of selfies.
[Catches breath.] "Yeah, that is a beautiful one, I must say."
17. You both get excited when there is tofu on the menu.
"NO WAY! There it is!"
18. They’d rather go to VegFest than a concert or sporting event.
"How could we miss VegFest? I know you're working, but can't you call in sick?!"
19. You don’t have trust issues when it comes to food.
"Are you sure you didn't use butter?" [Looks suspiciously at plate.]
20. At family functions, they are there to back you up.
"She's right! Animal agriculture is the source of 51 percent of all greenhouse gases...so..."
21. They laugh when you flip off the butcher shop as you go by.
"Wow, babe, I didn't think you had it in you! That's hot."
Hopefully after reading these signs, you can confidently determine if you are dating a vegan or not! And if you are, may you love and cherish that majestic and rare unicorn. Oh, and be sure to tell them just how much they mean to you...
