21 Things You Do When Your Roommates Ditch You
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21 Things You Do When Your Roommates Ditch You


21 Things You Do When Your Roommates Ditch You

We’ve all been there: everyone else has amazing plans that take them hours and hours away, while you are stuck at home wishing you could have worked out a way to go, and berating yourself for not just skipping work. Who needs a job anyways?

Flying solo can be fun, it can also be a bit dull. Here are 21 things we all do when we’re left alone for extended periods of time.

1. Text your missing housemates. A lot.

And every fourth text is some form of the sentence “I miss you! Please come home!”

2. Spontaneous naps

Seriously, every time you come into contact with a surface that is even remotely comfortable you lose consciousness. It’s kind of a problem.

3. Complain about how much you miss them

In the car, “Ugh! Those jerks. I miss their dumb faces.” In the grocery store, “They’re so lame. They would go out of town this weekend.” Sitting on the couch, “I’m so mad at them! Why aren’t they home yet?”

4. Make a list of all the things you need to get done while everyone's gone

Laundry, dishes, tidy the room, watch Netflix, and talk to another human being.

5. Successfully avoid doing any of the things on your list

It’s not like anyone is here to see that I haven’t even started my to do list.

6. Tell yourself you are going to go out and interact with other humans

Even if it’s just a quick trip to the coffee shop

7. Stay in bed, unless you absolutely have to get up

Food? Nah, I can eat right here. Work? Yeah I guess I better get up for that.

8. Tell anyone who will listen about how your housemates are “the worst” for leaving you alone.

“What are you talking about? It must be nice having the house to yourself.” Not really. After the first twelve hours or so the novelty kind of wears off.

9. Play solitaire or any other one man games

Who’s turn is it? Oh right. Mine.

10. Compulsively check your phone to see if they’ve texted you back yet

But I sent that text well over 45 seconds ago. Surely I deserve a response by now!

11. Smile like an idiot when they say they miss you too

What? Did you think they left you behind because they wanted to? Of course they miss you!

12. Argue over who is missing who the most

I definitely miss you more. You guys are having way too much fun to miss me!

13. Play online games with your housemates so you can pretend they are just in the other room

The only problem is the complete lack of trash talk makes it hard to maintain any such imaginings for long.

14. Count down the days until they get back

Soon, but not soon enough.

15. Curse your responsibilities that keep you from enjoying the peace and quiet.

Adulthood is hard. They make you do stuff. And things!

16. Talk to yourself so the peace and quiet isn’t too quiet

“What shall we do today, self?” “Well, self, I was thinking a Netflix marathon would be nice.” “After work of course.” “Obviously.” “Delightful! And what about the kitchen?” “What about it? It’ll still be there tomorrow.”

17. Play your music really loud, the stuff no one else in the house likes

It’s a small perk, but at this point you’ll take anything.

18. Imagine terrible scenarios that won’t come to pass, but will linger in your mind for a good long while.

Brain: If you died tonight no one would realize it until Tuesday.

Me: Yes, thank you, Brain. That is exactly what I wanted to dwell on for the next 72 hours.

19. Dramatically sing “All By Myself” to the empty house

Well, the chorus anyways.

20. Vow to get better at chess/pinochle/cribbage/any other game you play against your housemate so when they get home you can destroy them.

Victory will be yours! They shall rue the day they abandoned you!

21. Thank your lucky stars that you have the privilege of missing such amazing human beings!

These are my humans and they are nice humans. I will love them forever.

Stay strong my friend. They can’t stay gone forever.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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