I know I'm not the only one out there. We come in all hair colors -- black, brown, blonde, even rainbow. But our complete inability to be anything other than alabaster white remains the same. Here are 21 problems that I'm sure you've experienced at least once in your life.
1. You’ve probably had a million nicknames referring to your paleness; ghostie, ghost, and albino are just a few of mine
2. People are constantly asking “Are you feeling OK, you look a little pale?” Yes, I'm fine.
3. You can’t get tan to save your life.
4. But you try anyway.
5. And you end up turning into a lobster.
6. In the middle of winter -- like right now -- you turn an almost glowing shade of white.
7. People ask you “why don’t you just go tanning?” Yeah, sorry, I don’t want to pay money to acquire skin cancer in 10 years. Thanks, but no.
8. You look forward to the zoomtan texts for $1 spray tans
9. But spray tans only last like a week and afterwards you just feel even paler and sad. They definitely need to figure out something more permanent for us pale folks.
10. When you go to the gym your face automatically turns bright red -- I’m talking like tomato red.
11. When you don’t wear makeup, your face basically just looks like a white sheet. Blend-into-the-walls white.
12. You don’t need to wear white at a blacklight party because you’re skin will glow enough on its own.
13. People always feel better when they compare their tan to yours -- you can make anyone feel less pale in comparison.
14. You thought pale might become cool with the "Twilight" craze, but, sadly, were completely let down.
15. Basically every single famous person is tan. So your chances of being famous are like zero.
16. If you wear white you basically look like a white blob. Ew.
17. You’ve probably never bought foundation that's darker than porcelain 101.
18. People ask you if you ever go outside.
19. Like, no, I actually just sit in my basement all day. Seriously people?
20. Even when you do get a little bit tan, you still look weirdly pale because everyone else got super tan.
21. If you’re anything like me you’re probably in denial about your need to constantly wear sunscreen.
