A New Perspective For 2019

A New Perspective For 2019

New year, new you... but for real this time.

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As this year comes to a close, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on how it went. Like every year, there have been a few bumps in the road, but overall, 2018 was not terrible (unpopular opinion, I know). With that being said, I hope to make 2019 even better, and with that, comes a change in perspective.

I am done spending my time to worry about things that I can't control. This year, I am going to focus on being a better version of myself, and the time spent on worrying and complaining needs to be left in 2018. I want to get the most out of life and reach my full potential. I will start saying "yes" more and go with the flow instead of constantly trying to control everyone and everything in my life. I want to live in the moment and not worry about all the work I could be doing instead. You only live once (YOLO), so we might as well make the best of it.

It is time to start only surrounding myself with people who love me. I know the whole "cut toxic people out of your life" idea is overdone, but it really is true. We should all simply focus on those who make us feel loved and make us better people. There is no point in being fake to others or putting yourself in a bad mood because you have to be around someone who makes you feel bitter and upset. It is time to wake up people!!! Be a little selfish and only be with people that make you happy and help you grow.

It is important for me to stay positive. Sometimes I get so caught up in the drama in my life that I forget to sit back and put things into perspective. This year will be about staying positive, but also being realistic. I can't dwell in the negativity; I want to let myself be upset, but then accept it, move on, and learn from it. This year is going to be all about learning and finding lessons in the little things.

Basically, I want to be the best I can be at everything that I do. I will try to put 100% of my effort into everything, even the little things. You get what you put out in this world, so if I do the best I possibly can, I will get the best back in return: the law of attraction… look it up.

Another thing that I want to start focusing on is looking for the good in people. My grandma has always said that you should find at least one positive attribute about every single person you meet. I know this might be genuinely hard to do for some people, but think of all the good that can come from it. This simple change can really make you a better person internally, and even a better person to be around. I want to be someone that makes other people's days brighter. If I am constantly gossiping and focusing on the bad in people, I won't be fun to be around, I would just be an insanely draining person.

2019 is the perfect time for us to start focusing on what is really important in life. We should all focus on making deeper connections with our family and friends, and just being a better human being all around. I hope this year brings us all nothing but peace and happiness.

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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Becoming Kinder To Myself

My biggest bully is my own mind and I'm sick of being the victim.

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I've always known how important self-love is, but I've only recently realized the depths of what it means. For me, the hardest part about loving myself is the fact that I've been conditioned to hate myself. I say the meanest things in my head and constantly try to tear myself down. While I am confident in the person I am, I don't think I love myself in the way I need to.

It's 2019, and I've decided it's going to be the year of me. This year, I will fall in love with myself. I will stop thinking I am the problem. I will stop letting my worries get in my way. I am constantly motivating my friends and encouraging them to do whatever is necessary to make themselves happy.

So, why haven't I been doing that for me?

I show kindness to everyone I meet, but perhaps I am the one who needs my kindness the most. I'm never going to get what I want if I feel as though I don't deserve it. I'm never going to achieve my goals if I don't think I have the ability to do so.

I would never kick someone when they're down, so this year, I'm going to start applying that to myself. The negative thoughts will come and go, but it's time that I stop feeding them. I see myself negatively, and the only way that's going to change is if I fight it with a lot of positivity.

Self-love is more than being confident in your own skin; it's being kind to yourself and treating yourself right. I always feel like my mind controls me, but it's time to start controlling my mind. My mind is going to become a place of positivity and encouragement, and it all starts with simply replacing my thoughts that stem from hatred to thoughts that come from love.

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