2016 was horrible. A new year may be starting but that won’t change. I’m very hopeful for 2017, and I think everyone should be. I mean the Pantone Color of the Year represents hope, and I have to be honest, 2017 is my only hope. Yes, that is a Star Wars reference.

This year was so shitty, but at the same time it was truly amazing. We lost so many iconic people, and the world has proven to us that it doesn’t care about humanity. This year has kicked me around time and time again, literally not giving me a single break to breathe but I am still grateful for everything that happened. I know everyone is ready to close the door on 2016, and trust me I am too but I think it’s very important we keep it in mind.

Many terrible things happened during 2016 but it also made people more aware of the world around them. People became more outspoken, and stood up against discrimination, wrong doings and disrespect. Granted a lot of people got away with hurting others, and we lost too many people who were too young and innocent, but we won’t let that go in vain. We saw horrific things this year; with war, shootings, natural disasters, sexual assault, and ignorance but a lot of people realized we need change. The activism that spurred this year is incredible. Sometimes it feels like an endless uphill battle, especially when trying to be rational and have a simple debate and the small minded people seem to revel in tormenting people working for change. I’m not going to lie, it feels useless at times and I think “they don’t want change; I could take my brain out and give it to them and they still wouldn’t want to change; they would rather spoon their eyes out than live in a world where we are all accepted and live equally without fear” but I know that together we can make a difference, and be on our way for a better world.

I think 2016 is the beginning of a new age of enlightenment. This year has ignited a fire among people for action. People are becoming more educated on gender issues, cultural appropriation, and human rights. I know that isn’t happening everywhere, living in Portland does make me feel like we are much further in progress for change because I am surrounded by people who believe that there is better and we are responsible for making it happen. I have hope that spreads; that people research before they write, don’t judge before getting to know others, think before they speak and truly take in other people as human beings and don’t treat them any less.

Even though my year was horrible, as I am sure many others’ were as well, I am grateful for this year. The things I went through have given me direction in life. I finally have motivation to go after my dreams, because I don’t want any of the pain that I went through to be for nothing. That was the lesson I learned this year. Yeah, it fucking sucked, and there was a night when I walked back and forth on a bridge contemplating climbing up on the edge and jumping. That was a long night. It was hard to walk home, and if I hadn’t been listening to music I think it would have been harder. Something pulled at me though, I couldn’t let the pain get the best of me. More importantly, I couldn’t let it all be for nothing. Once again I know I’m vague, but I don’t want to go in depth about my personal issues because that is not the point. The point is take everything from 2016, all the losses and pain and put all your energy and imagination into making sure it wasn’t for nothing. Don’t let people beat you down, don’t let your mind tear you apart, and don’t let 2016 be remembered as the your worst year but as the year that pushed you for a New Hope. Yes, that was another Star Wars reference

I know that New Year’s is all about new beginnings, but I don’t think we should look at that way. I don’t want to put this year behind me, yes it was horrible but it was important for progress. Nothing wonderful comes without pain, and I got to tell you guys, I think we are on our way to something wonderful. A world of acceptance, freedom, equality--peace would be great. I know many of you are just going to write me off as some hippie but goddammit I need something to believe in. Many people disappointed me this year, but as for everyone else in the world I hope they persevere. It’s going to be hard but if we push through it, we are going to get our piece of wonderful. That isn’t going to happen if we wipe 2016 away, we can’t forget everything that began in 2016 especially with what is coming for America in 2017. It’s more important than ever that we take this awful year to move forward with change in 2017. Everyone needs to set a goal for something they want to accomplish, or work towards in 2017. Don’t start over, because we already had our rough beginning, just move forward with hope for change.

I’m not a motivational person, I don’t got the right stuff to get people excited to work towards something but I am going to work on my voice this year and hopefully in 2017 I will at least be on track to becoming one of those people. With this new year, I’m going to keep pushing forward for a world I want to live in, for a life I’m proud of, and for all that pain to go towards something wonderful. 2016 will not be my dark year to forget. It will be the year, I got the courage to trust myself--to not let me down, to not let others get to me, to not let myself disappear, to be true to myself, to work hard, to not give up, to not doubt myself, to dream big, and to live.

It will be the year I caught my ray of sunshine, and fucking ran with it.

I hope you all will do the same. May 2017 be the year you burn bright.

For BeeBee~