I think we can all agree that this past year has been quite a tumultuous one. I can’t recall another year that so many people have been joking (and often times even exasperatedly), “What’s next?” as if 2016 was a year that kept trying to outdo each other for coming out with the most outrageous and tragic news for as long as it could until the year was finally over.

But instead of rehashing all of that, I’m going to write a small reflection for myself on something that has changed in what I used to love to do the most: writing. Because 2016 has become the year that I decided to publish my writing again.

When I was young and scared, I would post my writing on the numerous digital platforms available to me: Wattpad, FictionPress, etc. (you all see where I’m going). And I barely told anyone I knew that I did. Those I did tell back then, I can say for sure that I regret telling them now. Because the whole purpose for me putting my writing up back then on so many different websites was for the anonymity they offered while simultaneously granting its users easy access to my writing.

Really, the anonymity of it all is one of the main reasons that people are constantly flocking to the sites to become their own online authors. It allowed me to share whatever I wanted to write about without fear of people I personally knew reading it.

With something like writing, it’s very easy to have it get criticized and picked apart for anything, be it grammar or the content you choose to write about, the technical or creative aspects of it. And of course, no one likes the idea of others laughing at your work. The anonymity lets people reflect how they view my writing onto their perception of an unknown figure in their minds rather than a real person. That makes it easier for me to accept feedback without feeling too hurt and taking it too personally, knowing that these people can’t actually make a judgment on me specifically.

Which then explains my hesitation in joining Odyssey in the first place. If I’m going to be completely honest, I had a major misconception of the site when I first joined. I didn’t realize how much I had to share my articles. I was just looking for a place to write, not people to share it to. I didn’t realize that it was a requirement to share on a social media platform each week, and I nearly considered creating a separate anonymous twitter account to share my articles to in order to avoid people I knew personally reading it. I won’t lie, for my very first article, I even privated the post on my facebook page because I was so ashamed of it.

But by the second week, I realized I was being a bit ridiculous with myself. I wrote anonymously on so many sites for many years until 2012, when I decided that I wanted to start writing for myself. So I did. I created a private blog where I posted whatever I wanted to write. Whatever I didn’t feel like posting to the blog was kept on my Google Drive. I did that for four years. It was great because it was uninhibited writing. I could write whatever I wanted to express myself, without the possibility of anyone seeing it or commenting on it. It was my small but very significant outlet.

At the same time, I felt a tinge of regret every now and then when I personally felt like I wrote something good. Then I wonder if people would really care what I have to say in the written word. That’s the thought that usually stops me.

When Odyssey presented me the opportunity to slowly expose my writing to my friends, it wasn’t immediate but I eventually caved. It was time to start sharing what I put effort into saying instead of keeping it to myself, even if only one or two others take the time out of their day to read it. And it was time for me to start hearing the responses of those who did and not take it too personally, but rather learn to accept them, reflect on them, and keep writing.