On November 8, 2016, the strangest (and quite possibly the worst) election of all time will come to an end. Facebook will be a much less hostile environment, the verdict will come to be and we will move forward despite the horrendous choices this country has made. If you missed any of this circus, the following will be an election recap of the biggest moments throughout this terrible year. I’m going to start with what could be called the biggest joke in the election.
April 13, 2015: Senator Hillary Clinton Announces she is running for the presidential nomination of the Democratic Party.
Yes, the most hated politician in the country wants to run. Great idea, considering her email investigations remained open for most of her campaign. Not going to get any backlash for that one, Hil.
April 30, 2015: Senator Bernie Sanders announces his candidacy for the presidential nomination of the Democratic Party.
He was just a sweet old man who wanted to lower the cost of education and progress with society, but we let him down.
June 6, 2015: Donald Trump Announces he is running for president.
An announcement that was not taken even remotely as seriously as it should have been, the “You’re fired” guy announces his campaign. He is running against Ben Carson, Carly Fiona, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush and Chris Christie (all of the former are seasoned politicians). On the Democratic side, there are Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders – also veteran politicians. Everyone assumes he has no chance, and everyone is sorely mistaken.
Sept. 16, 2015: The Second Republican Debate
We learned early on that this election would be more mudslinging than anything else, and found this to be most true at the debates. This one was especially sad, and the internet had a lot of fun with it.
Nov. 14, 2015: The Second Democratic Debate
Nobody watched and nobody cared as possibly the least corrupt politician on the planet, Bernie Sanders, faced off against Clinton and O’Malley. This was a huge blow to the DNC, and polls show Bernie won.
Jan.1, 2016: Gary Johnson launches libertarian bid.
Though gaining a lot of traction (for a third party candidate) throughout his campaign, Gary Johnson is as ridiculous as most of the prior candidates. When asked about one of the most torn apart areas in the Middle East, Johnson responded with, “What is Aleppo?” This is detrimental to our foreign policy.
Jan. 17, 2016: Bernie destroys Clinton over bailing big banks out.
This was a win for Bernie-or-busters. Sanders was quoted saying, "The first difference is I don't take money from big banks. I don't get personal speaking fees from Goldman Sachs…” Bernie was ahead in many Democratic polls at this time.
Feb. 6, 2016: The GOP Debate
Yet another messy night for the GOP – Rubio was stuck on repeat according to the media, Trump was booed loudly and Christie was reported as winning. Pretty much all following debates went the same way.
Feb. 9, 2016: New Hampshire Primary
Trump shows a chance of actually winning this thing after winning New Hampshire. We all died a little inside. The next day, along with our spirits, Christie also dropped from the race.
Feb. 18, 2016: Rubio skips the Conservative Convention.
He ruined his chances here. Way to go GOP, now you’re down to the worst.
Feb. 20, 2016: Jeb Bush announces his withdrawal.
Jeb Bush drops from the race, ending his hilarious campaign. We all miss him. In between the scandal, we have the extremely uneventful primaries.
July 12, 2016: Bernie Sanders endorses Hillary Clinton.
Bernie-or-busters are extremely unhappy.
July 15, 2016: Republican presumptive nominee Donald Trump announces Mike Pence as his running mate.
July 18–21, 2016: Republican National Convention is held.
Donald Trump and Mike Pence are formally nominated for president and vice president.
July 21, 2016: Donald Trump formally accepts the Republican nomination.
Whilst doing so, he also violated several copyright laws. Hilarious.
July 22, 2016: Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton announces Tim Kaine as her running mate.
July 23, 2016: Wikileaks leaks 20,000 emails from the Democratic National Committee.
We find out that the system has been rigged against Bernie Sanders from the Democratic Party leadership from the door. Nobody is surprised. The DNC chair resigns.
July 25–28, 2016: Democratic National Convention is held.
This was not nearly as funny as the Republican National Convention, but Hillary was nominated for the Democratic presidential nominee.
July 28, 2016: Hillary Clinton accepts the nomination from the Democratic Party.
This made her the first female presidential nominee of a major party, which is pretty cool.
Sept. 7, 2016: Arrest warrants are issued for Green Party presidential candidate.
Jill Stein, Green Party Candidate was arrested for protesting the North Dakota Pipeline Access, and even though she lives with her foot in her mouth, this was pretty neat.
Sept. 26, 2016: First presidential general election debate held.
Hillary Clinton ends up taking the majority support after the debate, and no one was surprised because CNN is a subsidiary of one of her largest contributors, Time Warner.
Oct. 4, 2016: Vice presidential general election debate held.
This debate was again, a joke. Does anyone remember who won? Does anyone care?
Oct. 7, 2016: Trump tapes leaked.
Due to leaked video of Donald Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women, he dropped down 7 percent behind in the polls, and nobody was surprised.
Oct. 9, 2016: Second general election debate held.
Hillary won, because as per the usual, Trump talked around answers.
Oct. 19, 2016: Third general election debate held.
Yet another mudslinging competition that polls showed Hillary Clinton narrowly winning.
Nov. 8: Election Day
Is anyone else over this? Because dear God, I am over this.
