I would marry the man who did five things on this list. Mostly seduction by food.
1. Tell me I look beautiful in my crew neck sweater. I may look like a slightly puffy marshmallow for the next 6 months while we live in arctic hell, but tell me I'm still beautiful under it all.
2. Buy me some good beer. Non-midwesterners might appreciate a gimlet, but I would rather have a seasonal Leinkugels.
3. Offer to spend a lazy winter Sunday in bed with hot chocolate and Netflix. It's too cold to actually go out on real-world dates so let me stay warm and be my big spoon.
4. Plan a spontaneous hiking trip at the lake. Just give me a chance to put on my lulu's and Nikes and make it an Instagram-worthy day.
5. Take me to Steak 'n Shake. While fancy dates in the city are always appreciated, I have a soft spot for super crispy fries dipped in a chocolate shake.
6. Tolerate the crazy. Midwestern girls are famed for being nice (except this writer), but if you let them lose at a tailgate or bar during game day you may have found yourself with a new person.
7. Let me win at bags ("cornhole," if we're being proper). I might not be as good at it as you, but you can let me take the winning throw.
8. Seduce me with ranch dressing, i.e. the nectar of the gods. Cheese is an acceptable second.
9. De-ice my car for me in the morning or shovel my driveway. I won't be able to thank you enough.
10. Get really, really "lost" in a corn maze with me. wink wink.
11. Buy me a Northface or Patagonia during the winter; it may be the second best thing to an engagement ring.
12. Air-lift in Portillos for me when I'm having a bad day (a girl can dream, can't she?).
13. Offer to get some Cortizone for my bug bites in the summer. Take it up a notch and apply it yourself.
14. Don't get mad at me when I keep your sweater with your letters. Think of it as you keeping me warm when you're not there.
15. Actually cheer on my team (or at least fake it) in the Big Ten. Rivalries may be fierce, but I'll think you're a better person because of it.
16. Plan a romantic weekend up north complete with a bonfire, stargazing and canoeing.
17. Tell me my accent is cute, even though I say words obnoxiously with hard A's.
18. Allergy season is every season, but when you check the pollen levels on a spring morning and surprise me with some Claritin or Zyrtec, my sinuses will thank you.
19. Fried cheese curds. Everywhere. At any time. Put them in my line of sight and I'm instantly a happier person.
20. Tell me, even when I'm snotty and gross because it's -15 degrees out and I've got a cold and look like a ratchet piece of crap, that I always look beautiful. White lies are the corner stone of a healthy relationship.
