It is so awful. I can’t tell you how much casual dating stresses me out. I am a part of a generation who views commitment as something to be afraid of. We date with the mindset of never fully opening up to others and always acting like you are never fully interested.

You give just enough of yourself to hold interest, but never enough to give away too much or lead to something deeper. You are supposed to be able to go with the flow and keep things casual. If people ever ask you about who you are talking to, you give a vague, meaningless answer that amounts to who freaking knows. I mean, how are we supposed to answer if we don’t even know the answer ourselves?

There isn’t anything wrong with casual, go with the flow dating. It may be what you are interested in and works for your life. Personally, I don’t understand why our whole generation follows this mind set or set of unspoken rules. As an over thinker, the idea of casual dating is so horrible.

I am someone who loves when people are just open, honest, and straightforward about their intentions. It might not be the best thing to hear that someone doesn’t like me back, but I would much rather that than being completely cut off and have no idea what happened or what went wrong. Are you someone just looking for a one time hook-up or a relationship? There is nothing wrong with either. Just be honest about what you are looking for.

Here is a list of my thought process when I start talking to someone new:

"Oooh, a new dude?"

"What have I gotten myself into?"

"Just go with the flow. Keep an open mind!"

"Dang it I’m starting to like this person…. don’t overthink, just keep things casual!"

"OMG! I think he likes me back!"

"Oh wait, maybe he is just being nice."

"Sh*t, what if he sees me as just a friend?"

"Wait, he wouldn’t put this much effort into someone he just saw as a friend…right?"

"Oh crap. Maybe he would."

"AGHHHHH, WHYYYYYY! This is why I avoided dating!"

*Finally hangs out* "Dang it! He is actually really cool in person and not just over text. Now I’m starting to like him." *Slaps face*

"NOOOOOO FEELINGS! PLEASE GO AWAY!"

"What if he only sees me as a hookup? Why wouldn’t he just tell me that?"

"When is a good time to just tell him my intentions? I don’t want to scare him."

"CAN YOU SHUT UP MIND? YOU ARE RUINING DATING FOR ME!"

*Deeply sighs* "You know what? He probably doesn’t like me."

"Maybe I should just go back to shutting everyone out and not stressing about relationships again?"

"Why do people do this?"

*Types out text*: "You know what I think I am starting to like you but I have no idea where your mind is at? I’m interested in something more right now and if you aren’t that’s fine but I can’t be that to you."

*Actually sends*: "Hahaha that’s so awesome!"

"You know what maybe they are equally stressing out like you are but no one knows how to address it so you keep going through this vicious cycle of keeping it casual…. LOL, nah, probably not."

Oh and by the way… no, this isn’t about you.