For as long as my memory remains faithful to me, there is one thing I will never forget: always being the road-crosser-hand to my siblings ( or simply a hand-holder in crowded places, keeper of money for the weekend, the one with the cupboard keys, the one who could stand in a line for them at malls, the one to give shopping and school advice, etc etc etc). While it's not uncommon, being the eldest of three siblings for a good seventeen years, it is still a peculiar experience. But nonetheless, all the trials and tribulations of the 'eldest child' are universal across the globe and I am pretty sure I can list a few which will make you say "I am not alone", "Thank god" or maybe even "accurate af" as that seems to be the new lingo.
1. Keeper of the Keys
When parents are away for a night or for a fortnight, guess who used to get the keys? The good responsible child, the eldest one. When rooms had to be locked or the house or the car, the same episode took over.
2. The Hand that Reached Out (to the Cookie Cupboard)
Being the tallest, at least at some time (until your little brother crosses you in the height race coz puberty is overly generous to the XY chromosome) in the beginning had its perks. Be it taking out the not-very-cleaverly-hidden Nutella bottles at the top cupboards in storage room or towels or coats, the elder one did it for her measly gnome-sized siblings. And in summers, good old summers, when ice became a staple in those Colas and shakes, you had to beg your big sib to reach out to the freezer for those ice cubes. But yes, you realized soon enough that a chair, sometimes, could substitute the sister for those high altitude goodies.
3. Concealer of Crisps
Ever had a junk food rule imposed by your strict strict parents? If yes, you knew just who to trust to hide some chips you bought from the carnival or school canteen. The Big SIS. Of course, she knew the nooks and crannies of the house where you mother would never look and had the cleverness to conceal them. And at the right time, mostly midnight, she would take her great share of the food but also fairly distribute the heavenly, contraband food among you all.
4. The Great Mathematician
She used to calculate the bill at the ice-cream vendor or otherwise quickly, thanks to her relatively superior math education and decide the change and basically, she managed all the finances in your outings. Sometimes, if you borrowed money, she even charged interest for you to return it. She was a clever big kid.
5. Clammy, Palmy & Balmy
There used to be lots of hand-holding in public places and no matter how clammy your palms were, you had to tolerate it. Because leaving it meant getting lost down a rabbit hole that the huge world is. SO you could NOT complain but had to pleasantly accept the grossness of this habit and soon, it did not affect you that much. You actually missed it.
6. The Commando
Be it party-planning or anything at all that required a team, you were happy to give in to her orders because she had quite some work experience from over the years.
7. The Nod that Mattered
Sometimes, when mommy and daddy didn't go shopping with you, she was the one who made the final decision. Be it in buying a gift for your friend's birthday or a new outfit. She did the nod, you saw it, the decision was final.
8. The Frodo (of netiquette)
New on social media, shadowing her over the years had taught you how to surf the net and respond to comments, messages and what was acceptable to like or what was not. She had been the Internet guru who paved the path for you to save yourself from the embarrassments she had when there was nobody to guide her. She also was a great help in short-listing some socially acceptable profile pictures and statuses for your social media accounts.
9. The Peach that Preached
If you came crying to her, she was the one who gave some fruitful advice. Be it about school, friends, family, or anything at all. Everything was under her radar. She was competent enough to give you advice on everything. And majority of the times, her advice realllly set you up for life.
10. The Adultopedia
While she, herself, wasn't an adult yet, she had a sufficient idea of what it was all about. Sometimes, she educated you on those very 'adult' matters that kids had already started replicating in school. When she did, you felt grateful for you won't be as clueless as the other kids who didn't have such an adultopedia as their sister.
11. The Shifter of Blames
She was a pro in the art of shifting the blame to you or your brother/sister for something she did such as a out of curfew plan gone wrong. There was nothing that could cause your parents to second-guess her credibility, she was the big one, after all.
12. The Dilemma of Names
There have been numerous times when your parents have mixed up your names, so have your relatives, so have your teachers, so has everyone else. AND in reality, you don't look or sound even 0.01% same.
13. The Exemplar
Teachers give you her example. Parents laud her. Everyone ELSE says, "Be like your eldest sister/brother, learn something" at some point in your life. And sometimes, they weren't wrong. And sometimes, it didn't hurt to ape your big sister such as in her book or music choice.
14. The Thomas Edison (of games)
You used to never have a boring moment because your big sibling was a gamengineer. Be it enacting a household, hospital or restaurant, she had all sorts of ideas on how to kill the time. And oh those board games, those were killer. Despite never having read the rule book herself, you never questioned her rules. And to be paired up in an alliance with her ensured you the victory right away. But board game nights with her used to be the most competitive times in your life.
15. Friendception
At times, it would confuse you but she gelled in with your friends better than you did. She maybe even had a bigger Snapchat streak with them and they even had their personal jokes about you which annoyed you infinitely.
16. The Convincing Voice at the End of the Tunnel
Had plans your parents won't agree to? Just pitch it to your sister or just touch her emotional nerve and set her free! She'll do the talking and make your parents tilt in agreement with you. She could always convince and assure them real good.
17. The Tutor (free, free, free!)
She was a class apart, quite literally. Being the eldest, she had, usually, more knowledge about those subjects and knew most teachers and their testing quirks. She gave solid academic advice, helped you with homework and sometimes, if you bribed her enough (no money tho), she would give you a lesson review before an important test.
18. The Moment of Ceteris Paribus
An awkward stage where all the siblings could inter-change their clothing and it would fit! Very miraculously like the pants in "Sisterhood of Traveling Pants," this period ensured quite some drama and fights (with scratch-marks and wounds from nails). And you became very thorough with the property rights argument during this time.
19. Sole/Soul Company at Huge Family meets
Remember weird cousins? Or parties attended by all adults or toddlers and no one in your age range? That's when your siblings would be your soul company and you were glad you weren't alone and you were gladder that your parents were smart enough to understand that before you were even born.
20. The Morty-fier
Your elder sibling would be the ultimate leaker. The one to leak all embarrassing recent or childhood stories about you, your nasty habits, your cringe-worthy pictures and videos to your friends. At school, she would deliberately try to ridicule you in front of your friends by waving at you or hugging you too tight in the morning before classes.
Big siblings are the mature ones. They are the architects that pave the stepping stones for their younger brethren and you will forever be indebted to yours for all the company he/she has provided you with. The bigger, the better, right? ;)
