By this age, all of us are in different places. We have different monsters hiding under our beds, different demons living in our souls, and different humans hurting our hearts.
By the age of 20, I am in a place where I have lost a loved one, had my heart broken, and probably a few other things that more than a few of us have in common.
So here it goes -- 20 things I learned by my 20 birthday and hope you have or will, too:
1. It all really does happen for a reason. Whether it is a broken bone, spirit, or heart, you will look back one day and understand exactly why it had to happen.
2. Do not quit. When you commit to starting something, you also commit to finishing it. Whether it is a class, job, or project—see it through. You sometimes learn the most from things that you want to do the least.
3. One day you will realize that your mother and father did not hang the moon. There are few things as painful as realizing that your idols are humans too. But, there are also just as few things as comforting as realizing your idols are humans just like you.
4. There is a reason they are called growing pains. Growing is painful. Trust the process.
5. Every time that you are scared to embark on something new, a great adventure awaits. New jobs, relationships, and chapters always hold something beautiful. They are not always easy, but starting something new is always worth it.
6. Being yourself is the best thing that you can ever be. You were put on this earth with a specific set of genes, traits, and goals for a reason. You are not the person to the right or to the left of you—do not try to be.
7. No matter how much someone loves you, they will lie to you. No matter how much you love that someone, it is not OK.
8. Sometimes you will confuse a lesson for someone that you are meant to be with. Learn the lesson. Move on.
9. Read. Read. Read. Read. Read.
10. You do not owe anyone an explanation for walking away from something that no longer serves you, closing a chapter you no longer want to read or closing a door that has been open for far too long.
11. Being educated is attractive. Stay up to date on the news, current election, and social issues well enough that you can hold an educated conversation. Having an opinion is sexy. Shoving it down someone’s throat is not.
12. You have a right to your feelings simply because you feel them. Your reaction is your reaction. Your decision is your decision. Your soul is your soul. The only validation that matters comes from yourself.
13. Letting go is the scariest thing in the world when you think about. But letting go is one of the easiest things in the world once you actually do. What is meant for you won’t ever miss you—let go.
14. You don’t have to have bruises on your skin to be in an abusive relationship. Bruises on your soul are just as bad, just as unacceptable, and just as a valid reason to walk way. Walk. Away.
15. You are not able to outthink, outsmart, or outperform every single person in the room. But you can, however, outwork them. Always outwork them.
16. Don’t waste your entire life sleeping. Wake up. Get out of bed. You only get so many sunrises.
17. Going to class is never a bad idea.
18. Even if you don’t like going to the gym, find someway that you enjoy being active. Go outside. Take a spin class. Play a sport. It is vital for your physical and mental health.
19. Love your siblings. Love your parents. Love your friends. Everyone has a set amount of time on this planet—make the most of what you have with ones you are with.
20. You will not find the answers to questions you ask yourself in other people. Your parents, your significant other, your best friend… They are here to help you along the way—but you are on this planet to love, heal, and grow yourself.
