Growing up is hard. That's no surprise. But sometimes, it takes longer to learn some things than others.
My birthday was this past weekend, and I found myself reflecting on the things I've learned over the years. While this isn't everything, these were some that I found to be pretty important things. Some of these lessons have been easy to learn - the others... I'm still learning. And as life goes on, I will continue to learn more.
1. Sleep is an absolute necessity.
I'll be the first to admit that I am a huge procrastinator. Because of that, I have spent so many school nights cramming, working on projects, and writing papers. I'd stay up into the wee hours of the morning, or I just wouldn't sleep. Until my junior year of high school, I didn't realize how important sleep really was. I learned that it was better for me to go to sleep at a decent hour rather than staying up during all hours of the night. It was better for my health, and in the end, it helped me with time-management and taking responsibility. If I didn't get something done, then that was on me - I should have planned better. But I would much rather to be able to function the next day instead of staying up late, not finishing something, or not finishing something well.
2. If you don't like something about yourself, do something about it.
This could be anything: a physical attribute, a way of thinking, or a bad habit. Make goals! Start with baby steps - it will never be easy at first, but once you get into it it'll be old-hat, and then you can start challenging yourself to be even better than you are.
3. Always do the best you can, regardless of what you're doing.
Growing up, I was always told to do the best I could. In school, there were posters plastered on the walls with "Do your best!" written all over them. At home, my family always told me to work to my full potential. As I got older and started looking for work, my grandparents said, "Even if you're a dishwasher, be the best damn dishwasher you can be."
Though sometimes it feels you do things for nothing, hard work does not go unnoticed, and there will always be some kind of reward at the end.
4. Never give off the wrong impression of yourself.
First impressions are key, right? Make sure that when you meet someone new, you're showing them a good side of you. Even if you're having a bad day, don't take it out on other people - especially strangers. You'll end up being the subject of a not-so-pleasant conversation, which I'm sure is something you wouldn't want.
You've probably heard the phrase "dress to impress." Now, I'm not saying to get up and wear business attire every day (because if it were up to me, hoodies and sweatpants would be always acceptable no matter what), but put a little bit of effort into your appearance, if you can. You never know who you might end up running into.
5. Be straightforward about how you feel and what you want.
Don't dance around! People are NOT mind-readers, and only YOU know how YOU feel. Only YOU know what YOU want. If someone asks for your thoughts or opinions, just say it. Though it is valid to worry about what the other person may think about what you have to say, something to remember is that no matter what, someone is guaranteed to get upset. This is life - you're never going to be able to please everyone. So, instead of being uncomfortable about something or doing something that you don't want to do, just be straight. And besides, most people would rather have straightforwardness than lying.
6. Don't be afraid to say "no."
Before I turned eighteen, I had a lot of trouble saying no to people. If someone asked me to help them with something, I always said yes, sometimes to my own chagrin. If I said no to people, I would feel an immense amount of guilt afterwards, and I would think that I crossed them somehow. It wasn't until after I had gotten my first job that I realized that I could say no, and even better, I didn't have to explain myself after I said it. I was awkward about it at first, but after the first few times of saying it, I realized that saying no to people gave me a sense of empowerment, and it allowed me to have a say in what I wanted to do. Saying no when I should and when I have to makes it so I can focus on myself and my priorities.
7. Some situations don't need a reaction.
In certain situations, especially negative ones, it's best to just walk away and/or brush it off. Providing a reaction only adds fuel for the fire, and in most cases, the end result will leave you feeling sad, angry, or some other negative emotion, which can take up a lot of your energy. Not reacting saves time and energy, and it's usually worth it.
If you're put in a spot where you know you're being provoked, then that's a sign to walk away.
8. Worrying about a situation is not helping the situation.
While, yes, it is okay to worry about something, worrying about something to the point of it absolutely destroying your day is not. Worrying about a situation - especially one that may be out of your control - is not helping the situation any. If you are at school or at work and the situation is happening in a totally different place, then your worry is doing nothing but tormenting you.
If it is bothering you that much, talk to someone about it. Take a load off yourself, and have someone help you work through it. Whatever it is, it will get better, and you just have to keep reminding yourself that. Another thing to remind yourself is that most of the things you end up worrying about never happen.
Something that I always think to myself to help me is "will it matter in five years?"
9. Take ownership of yourself and be a leader.
Taking ownership is a good, honest, quality. If you are at fault for something, and you know it, say it. Honesty is something people value heavily, and lying about it will get you nowhere.
This kind of speaks for itself. Being a follower is no fun, and everyone has the potential to be a leader.
Throughout my life I was a follower, and only stood up to take charge when I absolutely had to. During my senior year of high school, I was given several different opportunities to be a leader, and I was taken back by it. I was scared. I didn't know how to lead people. But not long after I was given these leading tasks, I realized that I had a great amount of leadership potential, and I used it. Now, when no one steps up, I try to be the one that does.
10. Time is the ultimate healer, and sometimes distance is, too.
Time being a healer is a cliche, but it's true. Everything is temporary. Some people don't usually believe it, especially in the midst of a crisis, but it really is true. In any given situation, when someone says that "time heals all," the amount of time is never specified. It can be as little as a couple days to a few years. If time doesn't help, then add some distance. Being away from a negative situation for some amount of time will help you, and then, if necessary or when you're ready, you can go back to it with a clear, healthy mind. And it will be okay.
11. Be prepared for anything!
Life will almost never go as planned, so it's always best to prepare for possible outcomes. Make lists so you know you have everything you need, and double check it. If you're going to be out all day and you know there's a chance of poor or cold weather, take that umbrella and jacket with you! You will always be able to put things away if you don't need them, but you'll never be able to have them if you leave them at home.
12. Practice makes perfect.
Another cliche, but very important. Never give up! The more you try and practice at something, the better you become. This can go for sports, arts, and even trying to get into better habits. The more you something the more it gets engraved in your brain. So, when you practice something, always make sure you're doing it correctly, so that way, when you master it, it'll be perfect.
13. Never burn bridges (unless absolutely necessary).
In today's world, everything is done by networking. Everyone knows a guy who knows another guy. Staying on good terms with people, whether they be acquaintances, teachers, professors, coworkers, will help you in the long run. People are valuable resources! They are there to help you, but only if you let them. If you have a bad history with someone and you cannot go through with being acquainted to them for some kind of reason, then burn the bridge. It's better for you to be happy and healthy than not.
14. Never let anyone prevent you from doing what you love.
No matter what that might be, your skills and talents won't go unnoticed. There will always be something that you know how to do in a specific field that someone else doesn't, whether it's something digital (ie: music, computers, games), or something artistic. And if you love something, and you're good at it, there will be something for you out there in today's world. There will always be someone out there telling you that you can't, but if it makes you happy, then go for it.
15. Take chances!
If something in your field opens up, seize every opportunity! You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take, and you only need twenty seconds of insane courage to do something. You never know - great things may come out of it and doors may open left and right for you.
16. Never assume you know it all - always be open to learn more.
Because chances are, you don't know it all. Keep an open mind, there is always room more learning. And when you learn something knew, it feels like a whole other world opened up for you.
Besides, you know what they say about assuming...
17. People are like icebergs.
With that being said, be respectful to everyone around you. I've always seen people with two sides: the side that they show to others, and they side they don't. You don't know what's really going on in other people's lives - especially strangers. A person may act a certain way or say certain things, but it could be a defense mechanism. There is always more than meets the eye when it comes to the people around you.
18. You can't fix people.
We, as humans, are naturally inclined to try to fix or help. When it comes to people, however, we cannot fix them. The person we want to help or fix have to want it for themselves, otherwise it will get you and them nowhere. It absolutely sucks, but it's true. The most we can do is influence, but ultimately the decision is up to the other person.
19. A smile can go a long way.
When you're having a rough day or a rough time with something, what would you want from others? You would most likely want reassurance from others that everything is going to be okay. A simple smile can do that, and it can go a long way. It can brighten a person's day, and can even motivate someone to do something nice for another person.
20. Be content with what you have.
If you can't afford the latest and greatest, still be happy with what you have. There are other people who don't have very much, and everything you have could be considered a high luxury to them. But being happy and okay with what you have could potentially reduce some stress and help you live even more comfortably than you already may be.
I've learned a lot over these 20 years of living, and I can only hope that I continue to grow and learn more.
