I expected to feel different when I made the crossover from '19 year-old know-it-all' to a 'wiser 20 year-old', but I didn't. Not really. The change wasn't so much in a physical aspect as it was a mental realization of "Oh crap, I'm kind of an adult now". In my experience, and I do have some, I've learned just a few things by the time I turned 20.
1. It's okay to fail.
No one is perfect, so it's absolutely absurd to hold yourself to the standard of perfection. I've "failed" a lot (and by failed, I mean I didn't achieve what I had deemed acceptable), whether it be in regards to academics, a life skill, or a social standard. Needless to say, despite failure, I have learned from my mistakes and kept pushing forward.
2. Time alone is time well spent.
You don't have to spend your every waking moment entertaining people with your presence. Alone time is so underrated, but so necessary. Take the time, as much time as you want or need, and be alone - physically, mentally, whatever floats your boat. You'll find out a lot about yourself in due time when your only obligation is to listen to yourself.
3. It's okay to still ask for help.
Don't know how to do something or just need advice? Ask for help. Ask a friend, ask a grown up (you know, a real grown up because let's face it, are you really ready to admit you technically are one?). Sure, you might feel dumb sometimes, but at least you got whatever it is done right and you'll know for future reference.
4. Your health is important, even at this age.
You only have one body. Treat it right. Partying is overrated. Opt for exercise you enjoy and good-for-you foods. I promise you'll feel better when you're kind to your body.
5. You don't have to follow the crowd.
So, you might be the black sheep of your friend group, but that's okay. There's nothing fun about groupthink. Have your opinions. Stand behind the. You are not obligated to conform.
6. Your friend group will change a lot.
This is an inevitable pattern throughout life. So many people will come and go in between the ages of 18-26 and, by 20, you're just at the beginning. This isn't to say that you won't have friends that last, because you will.
7. High school was overrated.
By now, you'll find a lot of the people you used to know are still living in their past glory days of high school. Back then, you probably thought high school was as good as it got, but it wasn't. Don't live in the past.
8. Grades matter, but so does mental health.
Yes, it's important to keep your GPA up and do as well as you are capable of in school, but grades are not worth your sanity. You have to know when to draw the line between a breakdown from mental exhaustion and an breaking your neck for an 'A'.
9. Be curious.
Explore. Travel while you can. Go to concerts. Ask questions. Stay up late. Drive to the beach and watch the sunrise. Growing up doesn't have to be boring.
10. Make mistakes.
Go back and read number 1. None of us are perfect, and we could never grow if we didn't make mistakes. Make the most out of what you learn from them.
11. Everyone grows differently.
Don't judge another person's improvement by basing it off your own or someone else's. Your beginning/middle isn't the same as another's.
12. You're not obligated to graduate college "on time" or early.
You are in charge of your pace. Do what you're capable of and find victory in finishing, if that's what you choose to do for yourself. What's meant to be will still be waiting for you whenever you're ready for it.
13. Your timeline is the only one that matters.
Forget what everyone else is doing and go at your own rate. No one's journey looks the same.
14. Tell your friends you love them.
People don't say 'I love you' enough. Cherish your friends and let them know they are loved. People need people. It's always good to have a few in your corner.
15. Forgive.
Life is too short to hold a grudge. After all, you're a grownup now. If you have a problem with someone, talk about it. Do not bottle it inside or go MIA. Talk about it and, apologize, and forgive (but don't think you're obligated to stay tethered to anything you deem toxic in your life).
16. Let go of the past.
Again, life is too short to be holding on the the 'ole ball and chain of memory's past. Stop beating yourself up over things you can't change. Don't waste your energy on lost causes. You only hurt yourself in the long run.
17. Do everything in kindness.
It literally hurts no one and costs nothing to be kind. There's too much hate in this world. Be selfless and be kind.
18. Love yourself.
Let me drive this point home again - LIFE IS TOO SHORT to not love yourself. We are taught to hate ourselves and the things we do somewhere along the way. Do not let this become who you are. You deserve the right to be comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself and your flaws. Without them, you wouldn't be you.
19. Growing up is inevitable.
You might dread it, but it will happen anyway. However, just because you get older doesn't mean you can't stay young at heart. Life is only as boring as you make it (See number 9).
20. You don't have to have it all figured out by 20 years old.
Yeah, you may be a "grown up" by certain standards, but you're by no means obligated to have your life together by now. Honestly, who does at this age? This time of your life is full of so many changes that it's nearly impossible to stay on top of what's to come. Life is messy. Go with it and keep your chin up.
