I failed my first eye test in the second grade. I was a bit upset when I learned that I needed to wear glasses, but I quickly became accustomed to them and grew to like the way they made the front board clearer in class. Honestly, my biggest concern in second grade was that people would call me "four-eyes" like they did to Arthur the Aardvark on television.
Admittedly, I grossly underestimated the actual problems I would face in life because of my poor eyesight. Glasses turned out to be more troublesome than I anticipated.
- Not being able to see things: This one seems a little obvious, but aren't glasses supposed to fix this very problem? I can't count the number of times my friend has pointed out something in the distance, and after I've asked "where?" multiple times, I have had to pretend to see what they're pointing at.
- Forgetting them: After getting my first pair of glasses, I often forgot them at home, meaning that I had to squint at the whiteboard all day and pretend to know what was happening in class.
- Mistreating them: Every time I got a new pair of glasses, I made sure to take care of them, clean them with lens cleaning solution and a soft cloth and place them gently in my glasses case every night...for a week. After that week, my glasses were usually tossed around on my desk, vigorously wiped on T-shirts and towels, and dropped on the floor. Often.
- Rain: Every time you go out in the rain while wearing glasses, you are destined to be miserable. The rain splashes against them, obscuring your vision and stubbornly sticking to the lenses. Then, when you try to wipe them clean, you've only got wet clothes to wipe them on, making the lenses even worse.
- Swimming: I was a competitive swimmer for 10 years. Every time I went to swim practice or competed in a swim meet, I was basically going in blind. My eyesight was good enough that I could see everything fine while I was swimming, but once I climbed out of the pool, I became well aware of my weak eyesight. This made pool parties difficult, but beaches even worse. Since wearing contacts in water is advised against, I was often as sightless as a bat around water. And don't even remind me about the many times I've taken off my glasses to swim and then stood around lost as I tried to figure out where I was sitting before.
- General intrigue at my prescription: I can't count the amount of times people have asked to see my glasses, put them on, and exclaimed at my "awful eyesight." They would inevitably pass them onto another curious individual, and when they finally returned to me, they'd be grimy, greasy, and fingerprinted. Wonderful.
- Fun comments: Many have also asked me what I look like without my glasses. When I grant their wishes and show them, they either tell me I look weird or that I look good and shouldn't wear them. Thanks, guys.
- The finger test: "How many fingers am I holding up?" is a question I could go without hearing for the rest of my life. My eyesight is weak, not mutated or nonexistent.
- Acquiring a blind spot in my vision: Glasses are great, but they don't encompass my full vision. When I want to look out of the corner of my eye, I am most likely greeted with the sight of the side of my lens, and some blurry objects beyond that. That means I've gotta turn my whole head to the side to see that.
- Fearing they'll fall off: Glasses are usually well fitted to the face, so it's unlikely they'll just slide off your nose. But that doesn't stop you from worrying when you travel to the Grand Canyon or the Space Needle and poke your head out over the edge.
- Trying to lay down: When you really want to watch TV sideways, your glasses will tell you no.
- Slippage: I have a rather flat nose, so my glasses gradually inch down my face almost every second of the day. It's a constant struggle to keep pushing them back up.
- Fog: When enduring a sudden change in temperature, you're hit with nothing but fog. This happens when entering a warm building after being in the cold, after taking a shower, or trying to drink a hot drink. And there's almost nothing you can do about it because the fog will just come crawling back until your glasses adjust to the temperature.
- Not being able to wear sunglasses: All my life, I have never owned a pair of sunglasses. Not because I don't want one, but because wearing my actual glasses prevents me from doing so. Sure, I could get those clip on sunglasses, but those are lame. (Same goes with 3D glasses at a 3D movie.)
- Breakage: Nothing is more frustrating than breaking your glasses in a public place. Once, the screws on my glasses fell out at school and I had to walk around wearing crooked, visibly malfunctioning glasses. Another time, I was on vacation and the lens kept popping out. So convenient.
- Losing them: On many occasions, I have misplaced my glasses and endured a great deal of struggle trying to find them. Especially since, you know, I need my glasses to look for my glasses.
- Deterioration: Every year, when I go to my monthly eye doctor checkup, I have to read the dreaded eye chart, and then have to listen to the eye doctor tell me how much worse my eyesight has gotten from the year before. Basically, you keep getting more and more blind every year for eternity.
- The glare: Many beautiful pictures have been ruined by the white glare of light off the lenses of my glasses.
- Stereotypes: People with glasses are often seen as more intelligent or professional. Other stereotypes include: nerdy, geeky, or a bookworm.
- Wanting to see things without them: I would've loved to witness some of my best swimming races with 20/20 vision. And it would've been really cool to experience the rollercoasters at Six Flags with sharper eyesight, but if I'd worn my glasses, they could fly off. Can't risk it.
These are only 20 of many problems. But even though I complain, I love my glasses. I've tried contacts, and didn't like them much. Glasses are what I'm used to and glasses are what I'm most comfortable with. And that's all that really matters!
