I celebrated my 20th birthday this week, yay! I decided to share 20 life lessons that I've learned over the years, as well as a little story about how I learned them.
1. Enjoy the little things
This one took me a while, but once I learned to find the joy in the small things, I became a much happier person. I found something to smile at every day and just the smiling made me feel better.
2. Never judge someone before you get to know them
I cannot tell you how many people I have looked at and made judgements about only to soon have them become one of my best friends. When I first met my best friend Chelsea, I thought she was creepy and weird and never bothered to get to know her. Fast forward four years and we're best friends. If I hadn't decided to give her a chance, I would be missing out.
Tis a beautiful friendship indeed.
3. Pick a career for the joy, not the pay
I know that as a music educator I will not make a lot of money. But that's okay with me because the thought of teaching music fills me with so much joy that I could not imagine doing anything else.
4. Your dreams will change but that's okay
From ages 5 to 15 I thought I had it all figured out: I wanted to be a doctor. After visiting a family member in the hospital, I knew there was no way I could do it. That was scary to me, but it worked out since I found my true passion and calling in life.
5. Change can be scary, but embrace it
When I was 5 years old, my family moved from Pennsylvania to Ohio. I was scared and sad, but I eventually began to adapt and embrace my new home and new friends.
6. Tell the truth. It is much better for you in the long run
There were so many things I could have lied about along the way and probably gotten away with. But I've always told the truth. Part of that is because I have an enormous guilty conscience, but it feels so much better to be honest.
7. Don't rush to grow up. It's okay to be childish at times.
Sometimes we all need a break from life and a reminder of simpler days. It is perfectly okay to take that break and play your favorite childhood game to destress.
8. It is okay to have feelings
I cannot even begin to count the number of boys who have tried to call me "clingy" or "crazy" for being a person with feelings. It took me a while to realize that my feelings were valid and normal. It is okay to have feelings and to be human.
9. You are more than your past
I did some things I was not proud of when I was younger, and those stuck with me all the way through high school. It was so hard for me since nobody wanted to look past that, and even I had a hard time looking past that part of myself. As I got older, I came to terms with these things and realized that they did not define me. And as people got to know me, they realized that as well.
10. No bad job is worth the money
I worked the same summer job for four years. Sometimes it wasn't too bad, but when it was bad it was awful. Looking back, getting in a car crash while trying to make a shift so I could get bonus money should have been my sign that it was time to leave. For whatever reason, I worked another two summers. My final year I was a manager and it killed me. As nice as the money was, it was not worth being behind in the college of music since I lost so much time working.
11. Good coworkers can make a bad job worthwhile
That job may have been bad, but it would have been so much worse had I not had the coworkers that I did. I have met so many good friends through that, and all of our bonding is worth so much to me. I couldn't imagine my life without any of them.
Working hard or hardly working?
12. Know when to walk away
Recently, I was in a relationship where I knew I wasn't happy but I couldn't get myself to leave. I would constantly admit to friends that I wasn't happy but at the same time I didn't want to walk away and be single again. It took a fight over the color of my hair for me to finally get the guts to end it, but I am so glad I did.
13. Never underestimate the value of a good friend.
I have had one of the same friends, Rose, for over a decade. We have seen each other through so much and I could not imagine my life without her. She is truly a blessing.
14. it is never that bad, you are your worst critic
At the end of my freshman year of college, I had to perform a jury which is a playing test for the entire woodwind faculty. I left my performance convinced that I had butchered it and was going to ruin my music career. Everyone who had heard me play only had great things to say though. I had made some dumb mistakes, but it was not the trainwreck I thought it was.
15. Put out good karma, you may need it
I try to do a good deed as much as I can. Whether it's bringing coffee to a stressed friend, holding a door, or just giving someone a hug who looks like they need it, it all adds up. It's always good to have karma on your side.
16. Take responsibility for your mistakes
In my summer managing, I made a lot of very dumb, but costly, mistakes. Instead of trying to cover them up or blame them on others, I took full responsibility. My boss was upset that I had screwed up, but she was a lot kinder since I had admitted to them.
17. Spend time with your family
My older brother attends college in California and is staying there after he graduates. I don't get to see him often, but when I do it is wonderful. He is my stupid big brother, but I still would not trade my time with him for the world.
18. Life is too short to hate pop music
In middle school, I refused to listen to pop music and thought that anyone who did was stupid and a sheep. When I got into high school, I discovered that yes pop music is stupid sometimes, but there is so much joy in it. I decided that life is too short to hate pop music, so I may just enjoy it.
19. Don't take yourself too seriously
Life is short and we all do stupid things. Learn to laugh at yourself and you will be much happier.
20. Make yourself your top priority
I have always struggled with self care and am still learning too. But every time I can put myself first, I always feel so much better. You are not selfish, you are just taking care of yourself.
