The best part about being hopelessly uncoordinated and insanely awkward is that you end up with a really good sense of humor and hundreds of entertaining stories. I might have bruises and cuts on every part of my body, but at least there is a good story behind each of them!
If you are as uncoordinated and awkward as I am, you have probably experienced at least a few of the below. But hey... own that clumsiness!
1. Walking into inanimate objects and apologizing profusely.
2. Strolling along and realizing that you completely missed your location and awkwardly switching directions in the middle of the sidewalk.
3. Tripping over your own two feet, pretending it did not happen and continuing to walk without any reaction. (Because lets face it, you trip so many times a day that it would take way too much energy to react every single time.)
4. Tripping over seemingly nothing at all, and again, pretending nothing happened.
5. Tripping up a flight of stairs.
6. Walking into the wrong bathroom but not realizing until someone calls you out.
7. Walking into the wrong lecture hall, sitting down and realizing five minutes in that this is not your professor... or your classmates... (this is especially sucky when its like a 15 person class.)
8. Having your grocery bags break on the walk home, gotta love chasing dem apples down the sidewalk.
9. Wiping out on an icy sidewalk. This is always especially fun when it happens right in front of a frat house.
10. When you walk into someone and then they move to one direction to let you pass but you simultaneously move in the same direction and you do that awkward little dance with them for a few seconds of trying to pass.
11. Learning how to ski but not knowing how to stop and just simply diving into the snow at the bottom of the mountain. You can tell me to pizza and french fry all you want but let's face it, I am simply not that coordinated.
12. Completely missing a chair when trying to sit down.
13. Dropping food on your clothes, but this only occurs when you happen to be wearing white.
14. Completely wiping out and actually getting hurt but everyone you're with just decides to laugh their asses off.
15. Trying to be efficient by carrying lots of things at once only to have them all tumble and go flying everywhere right as you are about to reach your destination.
16. Walking straight into a glass door at full speed.
17. Tripping over or spilling something on somebody who is very important (like that one time I tripped up the stairs, only to end up landing on my boss and sending her coffee flying—go me!)
18. Completely missing your mouth when you try to put food in it.
19. Knocking yourself out by whacking your head on a counter or open cabinet.
20. Insisting that everybody watch you do something cool (i.e. trying to do a flip or dive into the pool) only to end up flat on your face.
