“Chronologically, you’re sixteen today. Physically, you’re still fifteen,” Samantha Baker sighs in front of her mirror. “Hopeless.”
Sadly, I’m not Molly Ringwald, and Sixteen Candles is not my life. Jake Ryan did not show up outside of my house November 15, 2011 when I turned sixteen in a red trans am with an expensive cake, nor did he show up today, four years later. However, standing in front of the mirror this morning, I can thoroughly say that chronologically, I’m twenty years old. Physically, I feel nineteen, and mentally I feel even less than that. In light of my teenage years coming to a close, here are some of the lessons I learned.
1. Sometimes you need to put yourself first.
One of the biggest lessons I had to learn during my teenage years was to live for myself and not for the sake of others. Being endlessly loyal, although an admirable trait, can backfire.
2. Just let life happen.
Part of the fun in life is throwing your hands up in the air - anything goes! Throw caution to the wind! Not every second of every day needs to be planned out, because we don’t know what’s going to happen, who we are bound to meet, what we are walking into. Being young is being spontaneous and seizing the day.
3. It’s okay not to know.
Recently, I was asked by a friend to list every single profession I ever wanted to have in my life, which began with an astronaut, to an author, to an athlete, to a conservation biologist, to a doctor, the list goes on. I change my mind about what I plan to do with my life almost on a daily basis. Part of being spontaneous is having the open mindset to imagine.
4. Lowered expectations make for pleasant surprises.
I remember my first homecoming dance like it was yesterday. I dreamt of descending the stairs in a beautiful dress, partying with my friends, having my first slow dance with my then-crush, giggling with my friends, and having the time of my life. When in reality, I wore a white dress that did not flatter me at all, straightened my hair that curled by the end of the night, and I put up with drama from my friends, who unlike me, did not dance once. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to be realistic every now and again because pleasant surprises make for big smiles.
5. Try everything.
Being abroad, I always answer the question “should I do this,” with another question: “What even is a comfort zone?” I don’t have one of those, nor do I think I ever will. Trying things means abandoning your comfort zone, even if it’s just for a mere few seconds. You never know what your reaction is going to be. Who knows, it may just be the best decision of your life!
6. You don’t need Jake Ryan (or an expensive cake) to feel complete.
Believe me, I’ve always wanted Jake Ryan to pick me up in his red trans am and whisk me away to his home, where we would sit cross-legged on a glass dining room table with only the light from the birthday candles atop the expensive cake (over which we would soon make out) illuminating our faces. I’ve also met many boys, who I thought may be the ones to do such a thing, but they didn’t and they won’t. As cliché as it may be, you are the only one who can make you happy. If you were unhappy without Jake Ryan, it’s only a matter of time before you will be unhappy with Jake Ryan.
10. Confidence comes from you.
Never be afraid to be yourself. There is a reason you are who you are, own it! The more confident you are in yourself, the happier you will feel inside and the more fun you will have just living life!
