I’m 20 and struggling. So what?

When I turned 20 I thought it was the year that I was going to figure out my life — what career I want to choose, that my love life would fall into order, etcetera, etcetera. But here I am, 100 percent completely lost about everything. My life is total chaos, but I love it.

I’m going to be a junior in college in the fall and I’m still not sure what exactly I want to be “when I grow up.” I’ve thought of many different majors, from education to pre-med and I’m still lost. I look around and see all these other students who are passionate and driven towards one certain major and I envy each and every one of them. I’ve stayed up late on countless numbers of nights taking online quizzes and researching different jobs and I still don’t know. So, yeah, I know its about time I figure out exactly what career I want, but I realized that I enjoy taking different classes and getting all new perspectives on different subjects. I’m excited and looking forward to the class that I take that shows me what my dream job really is.

Movin’ on — many of my friends are in a relationship. OK, if we’re being honest, just about 95 percent of them are. And if we’re still being honest, sometimes it totally sucks and I sit at home wishing I had someone to love and to hang out with all the time. I see pictures all over social media while I sit with a pizza on my lap and ice cream in the freezer. The thing is though, I stinkin’ love pizza. And ice cream is my second favorite food. I don’t mind taking some “me time” to sit back and watch tv or to spend the evening hanging out with my parents and siblings. I actually really enjoy it.

So now here I am, working at a summer job, hanging with friends, taking a summer class, all while trying to exercise, eat healthy, spend time with family, get 8 hours of sleep, drink 8 glasses of water everyday, and everything else we are told to do. It’s hard to get it all in in just 24 short hours, and on top of that I’m supposed to take classes and get a boyfriend and plan my future. However, instead of stressing out about it and thinking “oh my gosh, I’m already 20,” I’ve changed my mind set to, “oh my gosh, I’m only 20,” and it has changed my life a whole 180 degrees.

I’ll figure everything out when I figure it out. God has a plan for me that is better than I could ever imagine, and I have to have faith that it will all work out. That’s enough for me for now. I’m only 20, and I have an entire lifetime to get married or change my career. That’s a pretty dang good feeling that I’m willing to hold onto.