It has now been a little over a week since The Bachelor finale aired. I have taken the time to mourn his decision, and the fact that Benjamin Higgins will not be gracing my television screen every Monday. Because of all of these things, I feel like this is now an appropriate time to share the number of thoughts that went through my head while watching the Bachelor Finale.

1. Wow, I love Ben.

2. I am going to miss him so much next season.

3. How does Ben look this good?!

4. This looks like a good episode I'm hype!

5. Chris Harrison, is this actually going to be the most dramatic episode over?

6. I swear if Ben and his fiance get married on the After the Rose...

7. I wonder how Ben’s Pastor feels about this whole situation?

8. Ben you still have time you can choose me.

9. Lauren can really rock the top knot.

10. Lauren please learn the difference between shorts and underwear.

11. Why does JoJo always look perfect?!

12. If I woke up and looked liked JoJo I wouldn’t hate it

13. Ben love me!

14. Ben I get it you love two people and you can't help your feelings.

15. Dang there are a lot of commercials.

16. Ben, that white polo is working for you.

17. Aw Ben’s dad calls him Benjamin.

18. Ben's mom tells it how it is – I like her.

19. Lauren brought wine, smart woman.

20. Wait it looks like Lauren may actually have a personality.

21. Why does Lauren just trust Ben, what if you a person on the street walked up to you and was like just Trust me – would you? Would you really?

22. I don’t think Ben’s mom is having it – she’s not a fan of Lauren.

23. Why are Ben's mom and Lauren holding hands?! - that's weird.

24. Damn Ben looks good.

25. Ben’s mom is not having her son being in love with two women.

26. Lauren you say some weird stuff – ex: “I wanna be apart of the Higgins family.”

27. Ben is smiling like crazy for JoJo.

28. I wish I had JoJo’s closet…and hair…and body …I wish I was JoJo.

29. I love how JoJo does not hide her feelings.

30. Omg please don’t say “cuddle time” ever again.

31. I just feel like JoJo is so real.

32. Pick JoJo Ben. Pick your best friend!

33. Omg she is getting emotional! Pick JoJo Ben! Pick her!!!

34. I feel like Ben’s Mom likes JoJo more.

35. If it was Ben’s mom’s choice the winner would be JoJo.

36. Of course both of them would say yes Mr. Higgins! It's Ben!

37. "Polished”…”Vanilla” same thing.

38. Yes Mr. Higgins!! Pick your best friend!!

39. I get it Ben you don't know!

40. Eh Mrs. Higgins I’m pretty sure he has already planted his stake with both of them.

41. Ben your parents said JoJo Listen to them!

42. We get it! You love two people!!

43. I wonder if JoJo’s mom brought a bottle of wine with her in case her daughter doesn’t win.

44. I wonder if this weather is a warning sign for this date.

45. Omg he prayed. Ben marry me!!!

46. I sometimes feel like Lauren dresses like a 14 year old girl – I am sure you own more than a pair of jean shorts that don’t cover your butt.

47. Ben are you trying to give her a hickey?!

48. Lauren he is obviously thinking about how he is in love with two people dumb dumb!

49. Ben is so hot.

50. Ugh please don’t be torn apart.

51. How can you love her completely if you love JoJo too?

52. Life isn't perfect you need someone that can get through those tough time with you Ben (aka JoJo)!!

53. Aw he looks so giddy to see her.

54. Lauren definitely think she is winning this.

55. Do they only talk, drink wine, and stare at food on dates?

56. You are saying that the best day of your life was you on a date with 7 other girls?

57. Shoot ben really likes Lauren.

58. Aw she is crying that’s kind of cute.

59. I want someone to day good night beautiful to me!!

60. Lauren is doubting the relationship.

61. Ben loves the blue on blue look.

62. JoJo! Yes it's you! I Love you JoJo.

63. Omg they are holding hands! Wow they are perfect.

64. I want my relationship to be like theres.

65. Wow they are so cute together.

66. How does she always looks so perfect.

67. It's a gift to be able to make a neon color not look like highlighter and JoJo has that gift.

68. No JoJo please don't doubt your relationship!

69. JoJo’s. Outfit. Is. Always. On. Point.

70. Ben loves the color navy.

71. I love how JoJo always share’s her feelings.

72. I feel like Ben may be thinking about Lauren during this date.

73. If this is deeper than anything he has ever felt doesn't that tell him JoJo is the one?!

74. Thank you for actually responding realistically JoJo.

75. Omg they are best friends. Choose her Ben!!

76. Ben looks like he may cry.

77. I want ben to give you a sign too!!

78. Where are they going?!

79. Omg he's sitting on the bathroom floor for her!

80. Shoot he said he loved Lauren too!

81. Oh shoot!

82. JoJo I want it to be you and Ben too!!

83. They look soooooo cute together.

84. I love their height difference.

85. You don't way to say goodbye to her because you want to marry her Ben!

86. Ben and JoJo just said goodbye as if they were going to say goodbye everyday before they leave for work!

87. It's JoJo. It has to be JoJO. Ben please pick JoJo.

88. JoJo I am confused too!

89. Please don't cry JoJo!! Ben is going to choose you!!

90. Even when Ben feels awful he still looks hot as balls.

91. Ugh I wanna marry Ben.

92. Ben if you are lost I can find you.

93. Keep the shirtless Ben pics coming please.

94. Dang it he put a shirt on.

95. I always hate this part.

96. Out of all the rings, you choose that one Ben?!

97. Nope wrong choice.

98. How does picking out a ring tell you who you are going to marry?!

99. Wait so you are always the one dumped? Who the frick would dump Ben Higgins?

100. Obviously you could be engaged today Lauren please talk as if you are educated.

101. Eh not my fav dress.

102. JoJo slaying it!!

103. Her dress is on point (and her hair obviously)!

104. Lauren got into the helicopter first does that mean she is the one going home?!

105. Ahhhhhhhh!

106. Dang Ben looks hella good.

107. Obviously you are going to break her heart Ben! You told her you loved her!!

108. Why are there so many freaking commercials?!

109. Idk Chris Harrison show me what happens!!!

110. I'm stressing.

111. Oh god here it is. What is going to happen. Im dying.

112. Whose in the helicopter?!

113. The shoes say Lauren.

114. Oh god who is it?!

115. Wtf it's JoJo!!

116. Are you freaking kidding me?!?!

117. No! Please no!!

118. This must be a lie!!

119. Maybe the show is switching up the model?!

120. Omg it's like Chris Harrison is leading a lamb to its slaughter!!

121. JoJo looks beautiful.

122. Please don't blindside her Ben! You promised her!!

123. Don't let her give you her speech Ben!

124. Oh god please stop her Ben!

125. Please! Please! Please!

126. No JoJo! Noooo!!!

127. Ben please stop her this is so painful!!

128. Why are you not stoping her?!?

129. Oh god here comes the break up.

130. "I found it with you, but I found it with someone else more"...Are you freaking kidding me Benjamin Higgins?!

131. No. No. No. No!

132. You cannot say that Ben!

133. I hate you!

134. Slap him JoJo!! Please for goodness sake slap him!!

135. You cannot tell her you love her and crush her heart at the same time!!

136. Let go out his hands JoJo!

137. You tell him JoJo!

138. Shut up Ben! I have you so much right now!

139. Slap him! Please please please please slap him!!

140. “Can I walk out out?” “if you would like to” Yep you tell him JoJo.

141. Obviously your feeling have changed Ben! You are saying goodbye to the perfect woman for you!! Don't say they have not changed!!

142. You are making a mistake Ben!!!

143. Even when JoJo is getting her heart crushed she looks gorgeous.

144. Wow how can JoJo say she is happy for him when he just crushed her heart?! She's a much better person than me.

145. No JoJo please do not cry!!

146. Ben you screwed this up!!

147. No you don't deserve this JoJo!

148. How can you say all this stuff about her, and not choose her Ben?! How?!!!

149. I'm confused too JoJo!!

150. Can someone freaking get me some tissues?! I can't deal with this!!

151. Ben lied JoJo. He lied to you. He lied to me. He lied to all of Bachelor Nation!

152. You better cry Ben.

153. She better be the bachelorette!!

154. Ugh I am hella pissed.

155. I wonder if I was too invested in this season? Eh maybe, but oh well.

156. I cant believe this.

157. I’m pissed.

158. Who is he calling?!

159. Maybe it's JoJo?! Did he come to his sense and realize he made a mistake?!

160. F this it is Lauren’s dad.

161. Ugh no still #teamjojo.

162. Wait that’s kind of cute.

163. That fist bump wasn’t even cute because he just broke JoJo's heart!

164. JoJo had a better dress than Lauren.

165. How does Chris Harrison keep such a poker face?

166. I can't be happy for them.

167. No i'm still team JoJo

168. JoJo.

169. Wait stop that's cute – “you’re my person.”

170. Ben just tell her you love her so that we can end.

171.“Kiss you on the face”- sorry i'm dying.

172. Why is she not reacting more?!

173. She is ending up with Ben Higgins! Look more excited!!

174. Ben looks so cute!!

175. She is v surface level.

176. Eh that’s kind of cute.

177. They look like Cinderella and Prince Charming.

178. Wait are we in Greys?!

179. I wanna find my person.

180. Who the frick cares about a rose when you have a $100,000 on your finger?!

181. Aw they look cute.

182. No I still want Ben to marry me.

183. Wait shoot this season is over.

184. Omg we are never going to see BEN again.

185. I Still love JoJo.

186. Ben, I love you.

187. Leave Lauren and pick me. Choose me. Love me.

188. Wow, what an episode.

189. It was pretty dramatic.

190. What a season.

191. I'm going to miss seeing ben every Monday night.

192. So how many days till the bachelorette?!

What a season. Ben ILY even though you didn’t chose me or JoJo. ILY A MILLI good luck with life, and please grace the television with your presence every once to keep me sane.