There are many things you learn in the life of not being an athlete. Questions like, "Do you play sports?" or "What did you do in high school?" allowed you to make your Netflix watching, extracurricular, and academic careers sound much more impressive than they might have been. But hey, there are some things we non-athletes can unite over.
1. As a kid, you were always picked last.
Unless someone forced the kids to let you be team captain.
2. Your cross country friends casually say they ran 5 miles this morning...
And your response is, "I have run 5 miles collectively in my life. Maybe."
3. You want to work out but you own no gym clothes.
You tell yourself, "If I had a pair of Lululemon leggings, then I would exercise."
And if you do own gym clothes, they’re worn more to bed than to the gym.
4. “Working out more” has been your New Year’s resolution since 2004.
5. When you do work out, you feel unstoppable.
6. Drinking a healthy amount of water seems really unrealistic.
You feel accomplished when you drink a water bottle, even though your athlete friends are on their 15th gallon of the day.
7. Being sweaty is your least favorite thing.
When someone asked how you were doing in high school P.E., you couldn't contain your discontentment.
8. Taking the stairs leaves you winded.
9. Coordination is not your thing.
10. When you try to get fit, and it's obvious that you've never played a sport or used gym equipment.
11. Sneakers, Snickers, same thing.
12. A 5K is your life goal, and you've been "training" for it for years.
Couch to 5K programs on Pinterest are your life.
13. Walking around campus is enough exercise for the year.
14. You get unreasonably sore from the smallest amount of physical activity.
Raking? Sore shoulders for days. Driving during rush hour? Those calves are gonna kill you tomorrow.
15. Words like “squats” and “running” give you nightmares.
16. Getting ready to go for a run leaves you too exhausted to go for a run.
17. During intramurals or games, you run around to look busy and think, “please don’t pass it to me."
