“Bye, mom! Bye, dad! I love you!” you shout as you awkwardly watch your parents pull out of your dorm's circle drive and make their way back home. You’re filled with freedom, but you still feel a sense of sadness, mixed with overwhelming stress. You can’t explain why you feel this way, but you know that you do. So you head back into the dorm that you and your parents spent the day decorating and filling with the essentials, but it doesn’t feel quite like home yet.
Again, you can’t explain why, it just doesn’t feel like home. So you sit on your bed, look at the room, and wonder “What the hell do I do know?”
Whether this happened a couple weeks ago or a couple of years ago, we all remember the overwhelming excitement and nervousness that we felt at the start of freshmen year. Whether it was last year, three years ago, or even a decade ago, we love to hate you, freshmen.
I mean, let’s face it. Whether you are the upperclassmen terrorizing them or not, we all laugh at it when it happens. And whether it’s that ugly red orientation bag that they display on their freshmen backs so proudly or that dumb lanyard that they wear around their neck holding their ID card like this is high school or something (I mean, seriously, lose the lanyard), we have this mutual annoyance for these newbies. That being said, freshmen; we don't hate you. I mean, we kind of do, but we're more jealous of you than anything.
That’s right, kiddos; you have the life we all wish we had. You’re about to endure the year that we all look back on and miss. You don’t have the slightest clue! I’m not sure if we do it consciously or subconsciously, but I do know that we mock you at any possible moment because we are incredibly jealous of you and all the luxuries that you have.
So here’s a list of 19 reasons (counting down to the number one reason) we are so damn jealous of you guys.
19. You never have to sweat being late on paying the rent.
Do you know what it’s like getting so wrapped up in homework that you actually forgot that it was the first of the month and your rent is due? It’s great. We love paying late fees. Enjoy the dorm that you already paid for in one lump sum.
18. You don’t have to take any courses that require a prerequisite.
Seriously, don’t underestimate this advantage. It sucks taking a course that requires a prerequisite, because professors expect you to remember everything that you did in a course you took over a year ago.
17. Everyone you meet is new.
Considering you don’t hang out with kids you went to high school with 24/7, everyone you come across is a new friend. New friends carry a lot of potential, and we all hang out with kids we met on our floor freshman year.
16. Everyone you know lives in walking distance.
When you grow up, you realize renting a house with a few friends is much cheaper than living on campus. That being said, you're either north, south, west, or east of campus, and it sucks when you live on the south side and your friend lives on the north. It’s a solid 30 minute walk each time you guys hang out. Being in the dorms, you guys live a 15 minute walk (or less) away from anyone you’ve ever met.
15. Your parents haven’t fully thrown you out of the nest yet.
This one makes us all pretty jealous of you. Your parents just sent their baby to college, and they’re experiencing the glorious empty nest syndrome which parents feel when you’re not in their home anymore. Ride this one out, guys, because the daily calls, the constant care packages, and the words “Yes, anything you need, honey. We miss you!” don’t last forever. Each year you come back to the University after freshman year, your parents are a little bit more used to not having you around.
14. You guys can use utilities like crazy and never get punished for it.
Most of us rent houses after freshman year, and most of us have to pay utilities. Remember when mom and dad would scold you for leaving lights on, leaving the TV on, taking too long of a shower, or forgetting to shut off a fan when you left the house? Yeah, there is a reason for that. Utilities are freaking expensive and, as a broke college student, you want to keep those bills as small as possible. Luckily for you, your utilities are included in the cost of your dorm! You can leave the lights on all night, take a two hour long shower, or never shut your fan off, and still pay the same price. Again, ride this one out.
13. You don’t know the true meaning of walking.
Yes, some dorms on campus are closer to campus buildings than others, but the fact remains that you live in the dorms, and your longest walk to class is 15 minutes or less. I live a 20 minute walk away from one of my classes, and let me tell you, it sucks.
12. Cleaning your “house” takes a solid ten minutes.
Yeah, dorms are small, but you have only 100 square feet to keep clean. Make your bed, organize your closet, vacuum your floor, dust your TV stand, and you’re done. I have a solid 3,000 square foot home to keep clean and it takes four of us a good two hours to successfully clean.
11. Professors pity you.
This one is a big deal to me. Whether you choose to take advantage of this one, or you truly are struggling, it’s a great thing about being a freshman. Let’s say you miss a deadline, miss a class, don’t do so hot on an exam, don’t take that great of notes, do poorly on an essay, or commit any of the other crimes of college; you have one thing supporting your cause--college is brand new to you. You talk to a professor, explain how overwhelming college is, and that you’re just “trying to figure this whole college thing out,” and you receive instant pity. Good for you. You just received an extension, a redo, or whatever else a professor feels comfortable with granting you. As upperclassmen, we are held to a much higher standard, and professors hardly ever give us a break.
Note: this is not true in all courses, and some professors are just plain strict, but it’s true for the majority of classes.
10. The University spoils you.
I hate this. During welcome week this year, I was walking through campus and saw a plethora of free food. I grabbed a sandwich and a water, and an employee for the University came up to me and asked “Hey now, are you a freshman?” as she gave me a disappointed look. So, of course, I lied and took that free food.
But seriously, this sucks. Not only do you guys get a bunch of free stuff, but some of your dorms are blessed with their own personal gym, cable, pool tables, ping pong tables, volleyball courts, etc. Take what you can from the University, because after freshman year, they just take your money and all you get in return is a gym membership and an education.
9. You never have to cook.
Seriously, I heard a couple freshmen the other day complaining about the lack of kitchens in the dorms. C’mon, guys, seriously? You will have three years to cook for yourself, and it gets old fast. For now, enjoy your prepared meals and food court glory.
8. Janitors.
You don’t have to clean your own bathroom and you will never know how much of a luxury that is, especially when you live with three other guys.
7. Everything is a surprise.
I’m a junior, and the other day I saw two guys sprinting through campus in their underwear screaming “WELCOME WEEK!” and I thought, “Well, that’s just college,” and continued to walk to my house without taking a second look. There is something exciting about being a freshman, when stuff like that takes you by surprise and nearly anything that happens on campus is entertaining. Your tolerance for surprise will rise over the years, so enjoy this while it lasts.
6. Freshman year feels like summer camp.
And, to be quite honest, it kind of is. You’re surrounded by thousands of kids the same age as you and there is never a dull moment. If I could briefly describe the first couple weeks of my freshman year, I would describe it as a really fun camp.
5. You’re as safe as you’ll ever be.
By no means am I stating that college towns are unsafe, but you guys are safer than anyone else, because you live on campus. The University works their hardest to provide you with incredible protection. Your ID card will only open your specific dorm, only residents can enter the dorm, there are campus police everywhere, and if you ever find yourself in trouble, there are emergency phones located in many places on campus.
4. Meal points.
I miss meal points so much, and I speak for every upperclassman on this topic. Sure, you have to budget your meal points so you don’t run out, but let’s face the facts. There are convenience stores in nearly every dorm, as well as the union and the library, and they sell anything from batteries to nail clippers to snacks. Moreover, you can walk to a food court in less than two minutes. I tried to convince my mom to buy me meal points after freshman year and she laughed at me. So now I enjoy my daily ramen.
3. Dorm life.
No matter your personality or which dorm you live in, dorm life is an incredible experience, which most of us only get one year to enjoy. I actually can’t even begin to explain the joys of your first year dorm experience, so I’ll just let you figure that one out.
2. Time is on your side.
This one is vague but incredible. First and foremost, you have four years to enjoy the college experience. There is nothing worse than realizing you’re a junior and your time at this University is running out. Secondly, if you mess up a class or your GPA, you have plenty of time to fix it.
1. Freshman year is by far the best year out of all four years here.
You guys are about the experience the best year of your college career and possibly the best year of your life. You’re about to change and grow as a person more than you ever thought possible, but more importantly, you’re about to have a blast.
That’s it, guys. That’s why we’re so damn jealous of you all. As a final word of advice, don’t take offense when we mock you or tease you, because your life is so much better than ours. Yes, college is incredible, but some years are better than others. Take advantage of this year and make the most of it, because this is your year. For us upperclassmen, it’s over, and all we can do is look back at it, miss it more than we miss most things, and be incredibly jealous of you guys.
