Here’s a list of reasons why I’m still single:
- I’m awkward and cute guys don’t like weird girls
- I hate invasion of personal space. No guy wants to date a girl who hates hugs
- Guys don’t seem to like me. Maybe it’s my tomboy nature or my loudness. Can’t tell which though.
- Did I mention I’m horrible at talking to guys?
- Oh yeah, here’s a big one-- I’m happy being single!
I know, everyone just gasped in shock after reading that. How can someone possibly be happy being 19 and never having had a boyfriend? Here’s another shock: being in a relationship isn’t the only way to be happy. I know that goes against everything my generation seems to value, but I’ve come to realize it’s true. I am truly happy being single.
Sometimes I look back at old prom pictures from two years ago and feel conflicted. I had so much fun with my friends. We got ready together and spent the entire night dancing like idiots with each other. Even though I hated dressing up, I had a blast that night. But then, I feel sad because I didn’t have a date. I never had a date to prom. Sometimes, I feel like I missed out on something, but then I realize maybe I didn’t. I didn’t have to worry about my date's approval for my outfit or lack of makeup. I didn’t have to worry about paying more attention to him than my friends. I didn’t have to worry about him witnessing my horrible dancing skills. I was just free to be me, and that was what I needed. It still is.
I’ve done a lot of growing in the past couple of years. I’ve started to become comfortable with who I am inside and out. I’ve learned what I love and what I hate. I’ve learned who I want to be when I get older. I don’t think I would have been able to do that with a boyfriend. I would have been worried about what he thought and who he wanted me to be. I look around at the people closest to me who are in relationships and can’t help but cringe. Some are so wrapped up in their boyfriend/girlfriend that they have no time for old friends they used to love. Others let their relationship rule their entire lives-nothing happens without the approval of the other person. Life isn’t for them to live anymore; it’s for them to give to their partner. I don’t want that for my life. Not right now anyway. I want to be free to make my own choices and not feel guilty about them. I want to be able to look forward to having a successful career without worrying if it will interfere with my relationship. Maybe that’s an unpopular way of thinking, but I don’t care. I just want to be me.
A lot of people blame my lack of a relationship on my personality. They say I’m too shy, or too closed off to guys. They say I’m playing "hard-to-get,” but that just isn’t true. If a guy wants to date me, he has to work for it. I won’t just say yes to anyone. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve had a few chances, but I always played it safe. I believe in becoming friends before jumping into a relationship. I don’t want to invest my heart in something that could potentially ruin me in the future when it doesn’t last. I want to know that they share my values and my beliefs before I start something with them. When I start dating someone, I want to truly believe I will one day marry him. I don’t want to have a string of ex-boyfriends before I find Mr. Right. I want him to be my first real boyfriend. Now, I’m not naive enough to believe that I won’t have my share of heartaches, but I do believe that I can prevent some of them by not jumping into a relationship with someone I don’t know. Maybe that’s what some people view as courtship, well fine, I guess that’s what I prefer over dating. I guess I’m old-school like that.
One day I hope to have a husband and some children. I am not ashamed to say that I want a white-picket-fence happy ending. But I'm alright if it doesn't happen. It's sad to look around and see girls who are so caught up in finding the right guy. They place all their focus and energy into making sure they have the perfect relationship. They don't even pay attention to building a safety net in case that doesn't work out. I'm not building my life around the hopes of one day meeting my prince charming. I don't need him to have my happily ever after. It's taken me a long time to realize that the only way to be happy is to be happy with who you are as a person, not to be happy with who you're dating.
I still get a lonely feeling when I’m out with friends and see other happy couples together. I go dancing on Sundays and the only partner dancing I do is with my dad or my friend. Sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend to dance with instead, but then I look around. I look at my younger brother teasing my friend. I look at my mom, singing along to the songs with my other brother. I look at my dad, laughing at something or making faces. I take it all in and smile, because I’m still happy deep down. I have a great life. I have a wonderful family, a great future in mind, and amazing friends. Those moments of longing for a boyfriend are so brief, and they can always be erased by my family and friends. I’m truly content with where I am in life. I can be whoever I want to be. I can feel proud of the fact that I don’t have a string of exs in my wake. I can feel secure in my relationship with my family and friends and not need a guy. That’s why I don’t have a boyfriend. That’s why I’m happy without one. For those of you in a relationship- good for you. I hope you’re happy and that you always will be. But for right now, I think I’m good flying solo at the dance.
