Birthday number 18 is commonly the most exciting of teen birthdays, especially in the United States, where you become a legal adult at that age! In most American households, the age of 18 is celebrated big time, as this age brings a new sort of independence for both the young adult and his parent(s).

On the contrary, anyone raised by Caribbean parents can tell you there is really no set age when you are allowed to live as you please, not while under your parents’ roof anyway. This kind of upbringing is commendable to an extent, as it can save a person some trouble. However, I believe too much “helicopter parenting” causes a young adult to miss out on certain important developmental steps that bring healthy, confident maturity.

First, parents must realize that an 18-year-old is by law an adult. This means they can legally decide whether or not to continue living with parents. If they choose the latter, there is nothing anyone would be able do about it.

Apart from moving out though, there are so many things being an adult entails. You have to learn to manage time, pay taxes, make banking decisions, handle bills, schedule doctors’ appointments, and make other adult decisions. Of course, at 18, most people are neither ready nor financially stable enough to do all these, but this is why it is so important that young adults are allowed, to start preparing to be an adult.

What better way to begin this process than to allow an 18-year-old to begin making their own decisions? I strongly believe that no legal adult should still be asking permission to do anything, go somewhere, or purchase anything (legal and with their own money, of course). This is not adult behavior. I know for parents this must sound extremely jaw-dropping because you might be thinking, “Well, what if they make the wrong choices?” or “Well they don’t know what is best for them and I do” and while both statements are probably true, these lessons are now theirs to learn on their own. In reality, parents cannot physically prevent a kid from making foolish decisions because nine times out of ten if a strong-willed teen who really intends to do something can and will find a way.

The best thing that parents can do for their children at this age is to talk with them about some of the decisions that may now arise outside of the home. Express love and support to them and let them know the world is not as kind. Make sure he or she understand that foolish decisions now have greater impact and could cost them their life if they end up before a judge as a legal adult.

These principles can, and I believe should, also be applied to high schools. I mean why is it that students 18 and over still raise their hands like kindergartners asking permission to go to the restroom? For many of these high school seniors, college is right around the corner, and it is these and other restricted actions that make college freshmen really stand out. It is like you get so used to asking permission to do everything in high school, being told what to wear, what to do and not to do that you forget you are an adult. College is one of those places that jolts you back to reality because no professor is going to tell you to write down due dates in your planner or reach out to you to about missed assignments.

The more a young adult gets used to his life being dictated by other adults, the less likely it is that he will become a strong, independent and decisive adult. Young people should begin early on standing up for themselves and communicating maturely with other adults. Therefore, it is important that his adulthood is respected by other adults, starting in the home. This way one will be ready for the real world, where he must stand on his own two feet.

Regardless of age, there is always room for advice and guidance, especially at 18 when you are still figuring things out. This is where older, more experienced adults play the biggest role, in giving counsel and providing their greatest support to the young adults around them.