1. God, why is everyone already so in shape?
2. Am I already supposed to know how to use this machine because it definitely feels like I’m doing it wrong?
3. Can you see my butt through these leggings?
4. *Spends twenty minutes on machine making perfect workout playlist*
5. Thong might not have been the best choice of workout underwear
6. I probably look really sexy right now *catches glimpse of self in mirror coated in sweat* Oh, God.
7. Can those men please stop grunting as they throw the weights around like is that really necessary?
8. *scrolls through all social media while laying on mats pretending to do ab workout*
9. Better get a quick selfie on Snapchat so everyone knows I came to the gym.
10. I have to have gone at least 2 miles on this treadmill already, I’m so beat *looks down at screen to see you’ve only gone .3 miles* ARE YOU SERIOUS?
11. Is that cute guy checking me out? No, there must be something wrong with me. Is my underwear hanging out?
12. Can this girl next to me stop looking at my treadmill screen like I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN OKAY WALKING IS A WORK OUT.
13. *Picks up weights and immediately puts them back because I have no idea what to do with them*
14. BUT SERIOUSLY HOW DOES EVERYONE SEEM TO ALREADY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING? DO ALL FIT PEOPLE HAVE A CLUB WHERE THEY MEET AND LEARN ALL THESE THINGS AND US LESSER PEOPLE ARE NOT INVITED?
15. *After twenty minutes on the elliptical* I don’t understand what people are talking about this working out thing isn’t THAT hard.
16. *10 minutes later* Okay, I’m done now gonna go eat a cheeseburger.
17. I should totally come back here every day I feel so great! (jk I will maybe be back next week)
18. Calories don’t count after you've worked out right?





















