1. You still haven’t chosen a career path, or a major, or where you’re living next year, or what you’re having for dinner. My, you’re a mess.
2. You still fill out forms using your parents’ household income instead of your own (do negatives count?).
3. Your GPA is higher than your bank account balance.
4. You have a “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?” crisis once a week.
5. Your mom still does your laundry for you.
6. Your diet consists of pizza, Starbucks, and Bentley’s.
7. You still consider stripping as your back-up career in case your liberal arts degree fails you.
8. You couldn’t tell someone what a 401k is or how a mortgage works.
9. You still have your parents fill out your tax forms for you.
10. You are terrified of spending a night alone — in your home. So you inevitably don’t sleep and make the trek to your boyfriend’s or sorority house at 1 am.
11. You still watch The Bachelor in hopes of being offered a rose from your prince one day.
12. You still rely on the fact that Elle Woods got into law school, so getting into graduate, law, medical, dental, etc. school should be a cinch.
13. Despite the economy and your major, you are 1000% sure you won’t be the guy who can’t find a job after college.
14. Your wardrobe still includes a tutu, leopard print anything, and a Fanny pack. But have they ever let you down? No. So are you going to get rid of them? Yeah, right.
15. You still think of every time you spent money on things like Silly Bands, Juicy Couture, and headbands, and curse yourself, for not saving that money, as you struggle to buy your freakishly expensive textbooks.
16. You ignore the fact that student loans need to be paid off eventually. No, they can’t be taken with you to your grave.
17. You think it’s still socially acceptable to pay people back in baked goods.
18. Most importantly, you can’t think of your most memorable achievement or memory, because as unprepared as you are for the real world and as scary as becoming a functional member of society seems, the best is yet to come.
