Skin white as snow, heart black as night. You might want to spend time in a tanning bed, my dear snow white. Even the fairest of them all can't catch a break, but don't worry you're still a princess (pale pastiness and all).
1. Are you feeling sick? You look a little pale.
Nope, that’s just my face but thanks for asking. Are you feeling healthy? You look so tan.
2. Why are bandaids so dark anyway?
You're not this tan, in fact, you don't think anyone is as pigmented as this pack of bandaids but you have no choice.
3. Even the lightest shade of makeup is too dark.
Cosmetic technology is just not advanced enough yet to get that perfect shade of "Porcelain Doll" or "December Snow Fall" foundation that so correctly matches your face. Maybe someday.
Everyone thinks they are s clever but really you couldn't be less amused.
5. Wanting to wear shorts in the nice weather
But not wanting to blind people from the lack of pigmentation on your legs.
6. Knowing that any "nude" tights you buy will make your legs look as if they belong on a different body.
7. You are haunted by your parents forcing to wear a t-shirt or “rashguard” at the beach as a child.
MAJOR fashion don’t.
8. Wanting to go swimming but not wanting to spend 20 minutes applying sunscreen.
You're so close but so far.
9. “Why don’t you just get a spray tan?”
Because you don't want to look like you walked straight off the set of Willy Wonka.
10. Selfies don't happen...
11. Flash photography is your worst enemy.
So white, much pale.
12. You live in constant fear of embarrassment.
There's absolute not way to hide it, once your face turns red its over, you've been exposed.
13. “WOW you’re soooo white!!”
*holds out arm to compare skintone to yours*
14. Working out appears to be a lot more strenuous than it actually is.
You've been on the treadmill for just 10 minutes now but by the looks of things you may have just run a marathon. They'll never know.
15. Then there’s the unexplainable bruising…
At some point in life, you got tired of saying "I don't know" when someone asks you where your bruises come from. It's much easier to make up some sort of elaborate story and how if they think this is bad they should see the other guy.
16. When everyone around you is complaining about how pale they are...
A tiny spark of hatred boils within you has you envy their tan which resembles a perfectly toasted marshmallow.
17. Attempting to tan and realizing your skin only has two color settings:
Tomato and albino.
All the negative set a side, always ask yourself one thing:
Energetic dance performance under the spotlight.
Taylor Swift in a purple coat, captivating the crowd on stage.
Taylor Swift shines on stage in a sparkling outfit and boots.
Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers sharing a joyful duet on stage.
