People misconstrue being single with being unhappy all the time. And what actually makes single men like me really mad is when people have stupid remarks about being single. So I’ve compiled a list of the least favorite things my friends and I have actually been told (shoutout to my friends Chris and Vito who helped me out with creating this list).
1. “There are plenty of fish in the sea!”
Let's start off with an oldie but goodie! This saying is so outdated I didn’t even want to address it. But I will. The problem isn’t that there aren’t enough fish. I just haven’t found a fish I want to keep. It’s really that simple. Now quit saying it.
2. “You’ll find her eventually, man.”
This statement implies I need a shoulder to cry on because I'm single. I'm perfectly fine with the way things are right now, and I don't doubt that I'll find “the one” someday. But unless she’s standing right in front of me, I’m just gonna keep doin’ me.
3. “Don’t you plan on getting married?”
Maybe, maybe not. When people ask this, they seem to be more invested in my marital future more than I am. Just chill.
4. “Don’t you plan on having kids someday?”
Refer to number 3.
5. *brings a female friend* “OMG! Is she your girlfriend?”
No, but thank you. I do have good taste in friends, don’t I?
6. “What about (insert random friend here)?? You’d be great together!”
Maybe so. But we’re friends by way of my and/or her choice. And I’m OK with it.
7. “Aww man, you got friend-zoned, didn’t you?”
I hate the concept of the "friendzone". See number 5 and number 6.
8. “She’s out there! You just have to go out there and find her”.
If I have to go way out of my way to find a partner, it probably isn’t meant to be.
9. “I don’t get how you’re single! You’re (insert compliment here)”.
Why thank you! I am awesome, aren’t I?
10. “You can’t be so picky about your partner.”
If I were to be spending the rest of my life with this person, I would hope having high standards would be appropriate.
11. “You have to appreciate yourself before you date someone”.
I do appreciate myself. I’m awesome.
12. “Aren’t you lonely?”
No. I have friends for that.
13. “Hey man, you can hook up with all the ladies you want!”
Some might say that’s a plus, but I’m not a fan of hooking up with random women. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean debauchery is allowed.
14. “Embrace it while you can! You’ll find someone and then wish you were single!”
If I find someone and genuinely wish I were single again, odds are things aren’t going so well between her and me. If this is how you feel about your current relationship and you feel this way quite often, you might wanna rethink a few things.
15. “Have you ever thought about (insert online dating app/website here)?”
I tried online stuff. Didn’t care for it. Refer to number 8.
16. “You gotta stop being (insert behavior/character trait) in order to be more attractive.”
This is a very patronizing statement. It implies that I’m single simply because of my flaws. Newsflash: we’re all flawed. Yet people find partners all the time.
17. “You need more bad boy edge! Ladies love that.”
My friends and I hate this one the most, so I saved it for last. If by “bad boy edge” you mean “being a jerk,” then I refuse. I will not compromise my moral integrity for the sake of attraction.
