It can be hard being the quiet one of your friend group. Mostly because everyone always assumes you’re quietly judging them, but mostly because when you actually do speak up its the equivalent to Ariel finally getting her voice back. Most quiet people know its just because we enjoy hearing others carry on the conversation and only choose to give input when totally necessary. Otherwise we prefer to sit back and let the more outspoken friends chatter on. Its not that we don’t ever speak, but 80% of the time its in our heads and also nonsensical. Its hard to completely find a character that represents the reserved nature of our quiet kind, but in many ways Ron Swanson has mastered the stoic attitude because he stays introspective until he and his opinions are needed.
1. People find you off putting because you’re not constantly socializing. They assume you’re silently judging them which is a justified assumption as you are mainly thinking in your head. Just not about them. Typically us silent folk have a world of ideas floating around in our minds so when we are giving you a blank stare its because our minds are so loud at the moment.
2. When your friends ask you to go out you know that means socializing with people in loud places and talking at a high volume. You decide to stay in for the night and spend some time with yourself. The next day they ask how your night was...
3. Your outgoing friends are perplexed by your casual silence. They try to add you into conversation by any means possible because they fear that you don't feel comfortable. In reality you prefer just listening to the conversation and if anything is worse than joining into the conversation willingly... it's being forced into the conversation with nothing to say.
4. When you go out to eat with friends its AMAZING. You can enjoy your meal without worrying that in between bites you have to think of a response or start a new topic of conversation. You sit back and let your friends food get cold while you enjoy an uninterrupted meal and listen to the entertaining conversation.
5. You realize that being a quiet person is not about being shy. In fact most of us can carry conversations with a variety of people and usually excel at public speaking. So when your friends act shocked that you are expertly conversing with other people you can't seem to understand their disbelief.
6. People assume that because your quiet you like to listen to their problems. Some of us don't mind when our friends need to vent and get their feelings heard, but your silence in conversations is taken as "please tell me your life story!" In actuality we care about as much as social people do, but we're less likely to say so.
7. Its hard for your friends to truly understand the extent of your feelings because you don't overtly let them be known. However, you are just as much a caring friend as the others and unconditionally support the people you love. Most times we silently rejoice when our friends succeed and have a party for one inside our heads.
8. Whenever you are personally going through an emotional time you have to decide whether to let other people know or keep it to yourself. Despite the fact that we're good at keeping our thoughts in our minds, we're not so expert at keeping the emotions in as well. Your friends can see through your obvious non-verbals and ask if anything is wrong which forces the words out of you.
9. When you finally do go out with friends you have a great time. Mostly you rely on loud music and crowded places to help you avoid conversation with strangers, but generally you just have a private party on the dance floor. Arguably the greatest part of going out is the drama you get to watch unravel without actually involving yourself in it.
10. You not only understand the value of choosing your words, but you also understand that taking pictures deserves a time and a place as well. So when your friends want to take pictures of practically everything you do together you either offer to take the photo or become displeased at the amount of selfies going on.
11. Your friends often try to get you "out of your comfort zone" and encourage you to approach random strangers or speak up more. You know its not an issue of being unable to speak, but rather choosing not to. Considering you are comfortable with the choice to be a reserved person peer pressure doesn't really impact you and you can easily say no to ridiculous dares.
12. When your friends start socializing with new people and insist that you join the conversations your default reaction is more silence. Despite the fact that you enjoy listening to conversations among your friends you know that your presence would be useless in conversations with strangers. Rather than awkwardly standing around while the others converse you excuse yourself quickly and thoroughly.
13. You often feel like your words are so few and far between that its hard for your friends to look toward you for an opinion. Despite not verbally expressing our interest we do in fact have opinions on almost all things concerning our friends, we just choose to silently support them.
14. Because you know that words don't exactly flow out of you its best to find alternative ways of expressing your thoughts. Typically this means trying out different facial expressions or phrases to express your feelings, but they end up dissolving away once your friends question whats going on with your face.
15. Often times your reactions are taken more seriously than others because they are so sporadic. You're lack of expression if often viewed as being closed off and being an emotional time bomb. In reality we have the same amount of emotions as people who are frequently speaking, but their outrage is viewed as expected and natural. As soon as we express any form of emotion beyond calm silence everyone thinks were overreacting or 'having a moment'.
16. Many times your friends remark on your calmness and skillful listening in situations. They tell you how much they appreciate your support and ability to always be caring for the people around you. When they ask how you developed such good listening skills you cant help but sarcastically remark...
17. Despite your lack of constant conversation, when you finally do begin to speak up your words are thoughtful and sincere.
Being a naturally reserved person comes with some negative connotations. People may think you're shy, judgmental or even socially awkward but only you truly understand whats going on inside your head. Rather than shying away from your reserved nature you should understand the benefits that come from choosing your words carefully and start to embrace the quiet demeanor. You're silence makes you a skilled friend at reading both verbal and nonverbal cues as well as a great listener who is always ready to help a friend. So instead of feeling ashamed that your personality is quiet you should feel glad that you are valued as an honest and thoughtful person.
Reserved people unite.....silently!
