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16 Ways Australian's Are "Jealous" Of The Traditional U.S Christmas

He was being sarcastic...mostly.

Bailey Henley

Nov 28, 2016

Central Washington University

16 Ways Australian's Are "Jealous" Of The Traditional U.S Christmas

Commentary courtesy of a friend in my Psychology class:

1. Snow.

20th Century Fox

""Possibly snowmen, but snow in general. Legit, some Aussies never get to see snow EVER.

2. Ice skating.

USA Today

Get into the Christmas spirt watching people falling on their asses on a crisp night?! "Sign us up"!

3. Or going sledding in your backyard.

Buena Vista Pictures

"I guess a slip ‘n slide is sorta the same thing. Just a LOT warmer".

4. Ugly sweaters.

NBC

"Ironic Christmas attire should be experienced". Can we please have this without all the disgusting sweat? “Ugly Christmas singlets” just doesn’t have the same ring to it".

5. Getting snug in your winter warms.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

"Christmas scarves, gloves, booties and beanies are SO cute, but fuckin’ useless in the Aussie heat".

6. Pies.

NBC

"Yes, the mighty pav is damn delicious but… all those holiday pies look so damn good. Pumpkin, pecan, apple. please". PIE-LEASE.

7. Chilling by the fireplace.

MGM

"The only place we’re chilling is the beer fridge at the bottle-o".

8. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

ABC

"Do people actually do this?! Because that’s just how we describe our ‘nads on a scorching summer’s day".

9. And a culture of making out under mistletoe.

Universal Pictures

"We want to pash too".

10. Eggnog.

ABC

"We just want to enjoy an authentic eggy boozy beverage without sending temperatures through the roof".

11. Relatable Christmas movies.

New Line Cinema

"Just ONCE we’d love a summery Christmas movie we could relate to. Quit it with this winter wonderland BS".

12. And appropriately-timed TV episodes.

NBC

"We’re sick to the tits of watching another Christmas episode where it’s snowy and they’re having a crack under the mistletoe. FOMO to the max".

13. Real Christmas trees.

CBS

"It’s definitely possible to get real Christmas trees Down Under, but it’s never like it is in the movies. Going to a tree farm and buying the best snow-kissed, pine-scented treasure? Nah. Kmart has one for $15".

14. Elf on the Shelf.

instagram.com

"We want it, but we have A LOT of questions. Specifically: “HUH?! What is this? Why do you do it?”

15. Decent local Christmas carols.

youtu.be

"Have you heard Australian Christmas carols?! They’re complete turds. “Dashing through the bush…” NO.THANK. YOU".

16. Carol singers.

StudioCanal

"People just… show up at your door and sing to you? Do they take requests? “I’ll give you five bucks if you sing Drake, carol singers!”

"And worst of all, we’re stuck with views like this."

instagram.com

What a friggin' tragedy...thanks, friend.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

16 Ways Australian's Are "Jealous" Of The Traditional U.S Christmas

He was being sarcastic...mostly.

1. Snow.

2. Ice skating.

3. Or going sledding in your backyard.

4. Ugly sweaters.

5. Getting snug in your winter warms.

6. Pies.

7. Chilling by the fireplace.

8. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

9. And a culture of making out under mistletoe.

10. Eggnog.

11. Relatable Christmas movies.

12. And appropriately-timed TV episodes.

13. Real Christmas trees.

14. Elf on the Shelf.

15. Decent local Christmas carols.

16. Carol singers.

"And worst of all, we’re stuck with views like this."

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I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

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21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

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There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

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You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

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