1. There is a social hierarchy to your house and you, my friend, are usually at the bottom. You’ve accepted the fact that the other cats, dogs, squirrels and lizards do not welcome you changing positions while you sleep in order to get more comfortable. You have learned how to contort your body around the clusters of animals so you don’t disturb them. But honestly, as long as they’re comfortable you’re happy.
2. There is an exact science to feeding time. Every critter knows where their food dish is. They will let you know if they feel that you are late feeding them by running around in a panic.
3. You know that you will not eat breakfast, lunch or dinner until all of your pets have been fed first. They typically run around in between your legs adding the extra challenge of not spilling the food or all-together falling on your face. They act as though this is the first meal they have seen in weeks, even though just an hour ago you gave them most of the turkey out of your own sandwich.
4. Leaving food out on the counter is not an option. Neither is turning away from this food for more than a second. You are always on guard while preparing and eating every meal.
5. There are cliques amongst the animals. Two of your pets may be best friends, but we all know what happens when Mr. Spits is in the same room as Fluff-Nugget and Butterfly.
6. You forget that having this many animals is not a normal part of everyone’s life.
7. Once people find out that you have an oddly large number of animals they need to know what all of their names are. You tell them to take a seat because this might take a while! Obviously you know all of your pets’ names; in fact you probably have about twenty different nicknames for each one. But you inevitably leave someone off the list and have to start all over.
8. You regularly hold conversations with them.
9. You frequently take pictures of them. Come to think of it, they’re probably the background picture on your phone right now. Bonus points if you can get a handful of them in the picture at the same time!
10. If someone does something mildly startling, a stampede of all the animals breaks out around the house. These are the hilarious moments you live for.
11. People will ask you if you have a favorite. No, of course not! They’re all lovable and annoying in their own special way. In fact, you feel guilty if you pet one of them of them in front of the other. This initiates the long process of walking around to each animal and giving him or her a little love so they don’t feel left out.
12. Each one has its own unique personality. And yes you can tell them all apart from one another.
13. You could never be close friends with someone allergic to dander. They wouldn’t survive a movie night at your house.
14. Despite all of the wonderful pets you have at home you still find yourself wandering into pet stores to meet new animals. You usually find the strength to walk away empty handed, but every once in awhile you welcome a new addition to your already overflowing house of furry friends. This may not make the previous members of your animal family happy at first, but in time they learn to accept the new guy.
15. You feel like you’ve cheated on them if you come home smelling like another animal that you’ve pet that day. But how could you resist asking the lady in the park if you could pet her dog!
16. Most of your small talk/party stoires with coworkers have to do with something funny that your pets have done that week. If you were lucky enough you have a picture or video to prove it.
