Growing up Portuguese is simultaneously one of the best, craziest and most intense existences that a person can lead — that is just with one family (try living with two). I am one of the lucky few who God has chosen to live this life. So for those who are curious, here are 16 signs that you were raised by a Portuguese family.
1. You have been to "The Motherland" at least once.
Whether you were a baby when you went or you cash in your frequent flyer miles, one thing is for sure — you have visited Portugal at least once in your life.
2. You have a favorite soccer team.
Everyone knows that Benfica is the best.
3. You cried when Portugal won the Eurocup.
Let's be honest — it was one of the proudest moments of your life. #finally
4. You view Cristiano Ronaldo as a national monument.
Who could blame you? Can we say MCM?
5. You speak Portuguese fluently.
It's hard not to when everyone and the dog speaks it too.
6. You have at least five roosters somewhere in your house.
Trust me, it's a thing.
7. Yelling is how you communicate in your family.
If you yell louder, you can let God above know just how much you love grandma.
8. You get yelled at for not eating enough.
Would you rather fit into your skinny jeans or break grandma's heart? Your decision.
9. You have an OPF
— overly protective family.
If I'm dating you, chances are that all of the men in my family will interrogate you about you and your so-called "intentions."
10. Slippers terrify you.
It doesn't matter if it's the sight of a slipper, wooden spoon or even the sheer terror of hearing your full name
— there is no explanation needed. You know what you did.
11. When you meet another Portuguese person, chances are you're related.
No Mom, I didn't know that the cabana boy was Tia Maria's second cousin.
12. Teachers always mess up your last name.
Sorry that my last name doesn't come with an Anglo Pronunciation, Mrs. Smith.
13. Folklore dance is essential.
Sorry, João, if you don't know how to dance, you can sit in the corner.
14. Your family is extremely religious.
There is a slight possibility that you possess a "Mary is my Home Girl" T-shirt.
15. At least two people in your family are named Maria.
As Grandma Maria always says, there are plenty of Maria's in the village.
16. You have insane pride in your family, country and heritage.
You wouldn't have it any other way, though.
