Now that you have finished finals, your heart is racing and your eyes are twitching. Your biological clock still keeps you up at 4 a.m. and you don't know what to do with your life as you wait for those final grades to be published. Relax. All will be well. You will soon be home.
However, your friends and family are all still going to ask the dreadful question: "How is school going?" You can answer the following ways:
1. "I love it! I know exactly what I want to do with my entire life, and know exactly how I'm going to do it!"
2. "Great! My dorm is pretty lit and my floormates are the Fam Bam! My bed is softer than any cloud."
3. "Perfect! Despite the fact I have to pay out of pocket for everything other than the air, your $40,000/year could never be used any better!"
4. "Delicious! I'm making a ton of loyal friends who invite me everywhere all the time. We go to all the nicest venues and spend most nights in the common room talking Beethoven."
5. "Unbelievable! Great thing you ask about relationships. I still have none because I'm focusing on schoolwork. In fact, having a relationship within the first three months of school is quite uncommon! Silly you!"
6. "Terrific! The workload is lighter than any feather and not one professor has a favorite."
7. "Amazing! You don't have to audition for any club."
8. "Stupendous! They love the way I learned to write in high school!"
9. "Tasty! Minute rice and fish sticks seven nights a week never tasted so good!"
10. "Sunny! It never rains and the weather is 100% predictable!"
11. "Cheap! Books and coffee are so affordable!"
12. "Fabulous! My roommates are my best friends! Taking a shower in a puddle of water caused by a tricolor hodgepodge of hair from all areas of the body has never been more exciting! And who needs clean dishes!?"
13. "Excellent! The alcohol and drug free environment leads to great discourse on arts and humanities. I'm always in bed by 8 p.m. and up by 5 a.m., latest."
14. "Fantastic! I have a paper that is due the day I get back, but I've spent over a month working on it. I'm more prepared for the final than I am for death!"
15. "Splendid! I understand everything that is happening and the professor makes an extensive effort to drill it into my head. No self-teaching!"
16. "It's fine."
