If you've ever been a server, you know there are about a million and one ways your guests, managers, and coworkers can get under your skin. They've become a part of our daily occurrences, and we've accepted that complaining about these things at the bar after work are now a very important part of our lifestyle. For those of you who have never worked in a restaurant, here's some things to avoid to save the slowly decaying sanity of those individuals who have adopted the #serverlife.
1. Interrupting your server's greeting with a drink order.
"Hi, my name is..." "Iced tea." No actually, but good guess? Seriously, this is so rude.
2. Over-complicating your drink order.
This includes things like ordering hot tea (seriously, just don't), asking for limes with your water (they're only stocked behind the bar), or asking for water with lots of lemons and sweetener (WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING).
3. "What's good here?" and other obnoxious questions.
The restaurant I work for has over 300 menu items. Do not ask me "What's good?" with no other guidelines. No we don't have baked potatoes or French onion soup. The hostess gives you that menu for a reason. Let's take a look at it, shall we?
4. Tell me you're ready to order when you're not.
It's 7:30 on a Saturday night and there's a thousand other things I could be doing instead of staring at you while you're still flipping through pages. Please just let me leave your table. I promise, I will come back.
5. Complain or argue with me about things I have literally no control over.
Including but not limited to the kitchen being out of items, the price of the food, the music and lighting, or the temperature of the restaurant. But I'm sure you'll still complain you're cold and I'll still pretend to be turning up the heat when really, I'm in the back Snapchatting about my annoying guests at Table 4.
6. Not knowing what your meat temperatures mean.
If I ask you how you like your burger cooked and you say, "Medium. I don't want it burnt but I don't want any pink," I'm going to smack you. That's well done you hobo.
7. Expecting special treatment.
This goes for your 15-year-old ordering off the kid's menu, asking for lunch specials at dinner time, or expecting things for free. Who do you think you are?
8. Tell me you're in a hurry.
That's nice. McDonald's is right down the road.
9. Act like I'm annoying you when I come to the table to check on you.
I promise I'm not eavesdropping on your conversation. I'm only trying to do my job.
10. Try to get my attention when I'm at a different table.
Go away, I'm busy.
11. Make me run back and forth to the kitchen instead of asking for everything at once.
As much as I love making four separate trips to get you ketchup, ranch, extra butter, and another Coke, I already got my cardio in today.
12. Ask me about my life story on a Saturday night in the middle of a rush.
I appreciate your genuine interest in me, and I love talking to my guests if I have time. But seriously, that lady at the next table has been giving me the evil eye for the past five minutes because she's still waiting on her extra side of dressing.
13. Tell me everything is fine, then complain at the end of the meal.
This is the entire reason I come by and ask "Is everything okay?" so now I'm not having my manager take it off the bill.
14. Verbal tips, Jesus tips, or trying to justify you not tipping at all.
Believe it or not, my landlord doesn't discount my rent if I tell him that my guest at Table 3 thought I did a great job. Also, Jesus would tip more than just a pamphlet on saving my soul. Oh, you're a poor college kid? I wonder what that feels like.
15. STEALING MY PEN.
JUST DON'T DO IT.
