"The Sims" is the ultimate procrastination game. The amount of hours that I have lost due to being in a "Sims coma" is unnatural and a little bit embarrassing. You can build your dream house or your dream life, but you can also just create a family purely for the purposes of destroying their Sim lives. It's actually very therapeutic as far as video games go.
1. The thing you want most is in this world is for Ctrl + Shift + C, "motherlode," to automatically deposit $50,000 into your bank account.
If only Simoleans were acceptable currency in the real world.
2. When the game crashes because EA Games just does not care about your livelihood or your sanity.
Yes, I did spend 3.5 hours making this house and a good 45 minutes on making the family. Now all of that is gone because there is no auto-save. Get it together, Sims.
3. "The Sims" also taught me that if my toilet ever breaks, then I can just grab a wrench and hit a couple of times for two hours.
You should probably just be a repairman in "The Sims" and in real life.
4. Never enter a pool without a ladder.
That's just some gamer trying to mess you up. I'm sorry to inform you that if you enter a pool without a ladder then you're going to drown. Unless you figure out a way to get out like, oh, I don't know, climbing out of it.
5. Everyone knows that you teleport into cars. Cars don't ever have working or fully-functioning doors that you open and get into.
Does this bother no one else?
6. Sometimes, you play this game so much that you actually start to pick up their weird language.
At this point, you may want to go outside and get some fresh air. I don't quit playing when this happens to me, but my mom suggests that I do.
7. You start to realize how completely unrealistic this game can be.
Yes, in real life, we have love connections with people who rob our houses. That totally happens.
8. Everyone knows that you can start living a life of crime by checking the newspaper and computer and getting a job in the crime career path.
Is that now how that works in real life? Oh, well, that explains a lot.
9. Why is that "The Sims: can refuse to do things because they're too tired, but when I do it, it's not a legitimate excuse?
That is directed at everyone who asks me to do things. It is so much easier to not do things.
10. Anyone who plays "The Sims" knows that you can't look through a telescope ever.
Best case scenario: you are abducted by aliens. Worst case scenario: you get pregnant with an alien baby.
11. Oh your life goal is to be a doctor? That's so easy.
Just read three books about Logic and you can be a World Renowned Surgeon within a day or two. Duh.
12. If you have no friends, then you'll never be promoted.
At least "The Sims" is teaching us about the importance of networking. And even worse than not being promoted, that weird "Social Bunny" will come into your life if you get too anti-social.
13. In "The Sims," you have infinite pockets. In real life, you probably don't even have pockets.
Seriously, they can fit all of their groceries, their car, a chipmunk, 12 books, two fireworks, an umbrella, a trophy, a guitar, a drum set, a plate of hamburgers, and two strollers in their pockets. That makes sense.
14. Everyone knows that if you talk to someone four times and joke with them six times that they are your new best friend forever.
If that were true, then I would have a lot of best friends.
15. If there is one thing, all "Sims" players know is that this game is addictive.
Don't let this addiction rule your life like I do.
