15 Thoughts Of A Server

15 Thoughts Of A Server

What your server never told you.

google images

I know we have rough days and the idea of going home and slaving over a hot stove is just out of the question. I'll also be the first one to admit it feels great to sit back and relax as someone caters to you when you're having "one of those days." So nonetheless, as your waitress I know that when you sit in my section you came out for a good time and I'm going to try and make it as smooth as possible. However, it can only go that way if you cooperate with me. Now, if you so happen to cross that thin line and become "that table" then I'm here to inform you that your waitress or waiter has thought these things while taking care of you.

1. There's a menu with full descriptions. Try reading it.

I will gladly answer specific questions like, "I'm allergic to ___. Is this OK?" But do not ask me to reiterate the whole menu to you as you sit with it open in your hands. Read it. It's shiny and pretty.

2. You aren't the only table. Give me a second.

When you see me running around constantly with food and drinks in my hand be considerate. I didn't forget about you or the series of things you so desperately need at this very moment. I just have to balance my attention between tables.

3. I can't make your food come out any faster, so staring me down will only make this awkward.

To reiterate again: You aren't the only table in the building, so you aren't the only table the kitchen is cooking for. Take into consideration what you ordered ( if you order a well done steak don't ask me why it hasn't came out after 10 minutes) think about how long it took you to order, if you got an appetizer or not. If you want fast food, I'm sure you can find a McDonalds down the road.

4. Can you just answer the questions without the attitude?

I can't read your mind, so it's either you answer my questions or your food comes out wrong. Contrary to what you might actually believe, I don't actually enjoy repeating the ingredients in a loaded baked potato or our house salad over and over again?

5. Are you really going to make me reach across you to grab your dirty dishes?

I'd rather not reach over the entire table to grab that one dirty dish. Help me out, meet me halfway. And while we're on the subject, I don't ask to take your dishes away because I like touching chewed up food and messy plates, I ask because it's less work at the end for me and it shuts my manager up. So when I ask and you say no, odds are I think you're tacky and I hate you.

6. Did you really tip me that?

I'll be the first to admit I can be a better waitress. I'm new and still learning. But I can promise you I try my best. However, it sends mixed signals when you tell me I was a great waitress but the tip doesn't reflect that. You have to keep in mind I get paid basically nothing hourly so I live off tips. Be considerate.

7. Can you fight over the bill in private please?

Don't make me stand here awkwardly as you fight over how you're going to split up the check or who's covering it all. I frankly couldn't care less as long as someone gives me the money or credit card to pay for it.

8. Why did you tell me you're ready if you're making me stand here awkwardly as you continue to stare at the menu?

If you aren't ready, that's fine, but please don't make me stand here and watch you stare at the menu. It just gets creepy, and honestly, I have other things to do that are more entertaining and beneficial with to time.

9. Why the hell do you need two drinks at the same time?

Are you just trying to test my tray carrying skills? Or are you pretending to look healthy with that water in front of you while you casually ask me to refill your Coca Cola three times and leave your water untouched?

10. Let me introduce myself and tell you about our specials, damn.

Nothing will come across as more rude then introducing yourself and people are already jumping down your throat with drink orders. Give me a second to introduce myself and our new specials. It's part of our standards. I don't want to do it as much as you don't want to listen to me so the faster it goes the faster we move on from it. And frankly, I'm sure you'll ask at some point in the dining experience you'll ask what my name is, and if you were quiet while I gave my introduction you would have known.

11. Don't ask my opinion on the food because I promise I won't tell you.

I'm most certainly not going to tell you I haven't tried more than half of the entrees here because I'm a vegetarian who works at a steakhouse, and I'm most definitely not going to tell you that my favorite thing on our menu is the kid's mac and cheese with grilled shrimp.

12. What do you want me to do about the prices on the menu?

I have no control on our menu. That include the prices and the food. It's not my fault we run out of prime rib on Friday nights, or that your favorite thing on the menu got taken off, and I most definitely have no control of the prices. If you want something cheaper, go order off the dollar menu.

13. I can tell something's wrong. So just tell me.

When I come back in two minutes after your food is dropped off I can automatically tell by your facial expressions whether everything came out good or not. When you hesitate, I know your lying. It's easier to fix a mistake early than it is when you've finished 90 percent of your steak and then tell me it was overcooked.

14. I did not cook your food so don't yell at me about it.

I only serve the food to people. In no way shape or form do I cook it. If I went near a stove I can promise you I would have burned down the restaurant a week into starting. I understand you're upset that it didn't come out cooked to your liking but I can only do so much for you and yelling at me won't get either of us anywhere. Trust me, I hate when food comes out the wrong way, and my name is associated with a three star dining experience. But somethings are out of my control.

15. Why are you camped out in my section?

I understand you want to sit and chat with your friends or family, but we get a three table section. How much money I make in a night is all based on how fast I can turn my tables around and when you pitch up a tent, start a bbq and camp out at my table for hours after paying I'm losing money. The ultimate worst is being cut and waiting on you guys to leave. Go chat outside, in a car, on a bus, a train, frankly anywhere but my table.

Of course, like every waitress and waiter will admit, we bite our tongue and smile through our teeth and whether we jot down the insults in our serving pad or vent to our closest coworker on the way into the kitchen we'll never show it because you're the guest and we have to make you happy because the company (and let's be real, our job) depends on it. It might also be because we're striving for at least a 20 percent tip and we'll do whatever it takes to get it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less

Raven Baxter Was Our Favorite Teen Fashion Icon And We're Still Recreating Her Best Looks, Here

We take a look at Disney's most fashion-forward show to recreate some iconic looks.

Disney Plus

I grew up in the early 2000s. And, like any child at the time, I was hooked on Disney Channel shows. My favorite was and is "That's So Raven."

Raven is a teenage psychic navigating life in hopes of not revealing her powers. Only her family and close friends know she has them. Her powers oftentimes get her in trouble, which is where the comedy comes in. But, they also teach her and her friends sentimental life lessons.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sobriety is so underrated, even when it comes to healthcare. The instant gratification of a substance or drink isn't exactly as gratifying as some people may think. For those of you who've never been hungover, consider yourself lucky — a hangover is biologically horrifying. A hangover is not instant gratification, so who are we kidding when people say "it just feels good." Being healthy actually feels good and won't hurt you or your bank account in the morning. The best way to be healthy is to choose sobriety.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ah, yes. The juice cleanse. Yet another popular diet trend that promises to magically solve all of your health, nutrition, and weight issues.

When you take a close look, juice cleanses aren't as magical as they are made out to be, and in fact, they might do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less

Unauthorized Plastic Surgery Is Totally Unethical, And Happening WAY More Often Than We Know ‬

Plastic surgery for cosmetic enhancements has you looking more botched than beautiful and it’s painful to see.

Coming from someone who could afford numerous cosmetic enhancing procedures I would never in a million years cut up my face or my body. I'm pretty emphatic and when I watch these brainwashed victims with bandages and chronic inflammation (swollen lips) I literally feel their pain.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've never been big on casual wear or athleisure. Most people who know me have never seen me in sweats. But, I do have those two or three pairs of sweats I can't resist climbing into the second I get home, the newest addition of which is the extra cozy Odyssey crewneck sweatshirt I got in an XL size to feel as close to being wrapped in a blanket at all times as possible.

In the past several months, I've started to expand my horizons, considering the ways in which I can bring my small wardrobe of comfortable bedroom clothing into the public. I've experimented with topping leggings and a sports bra with a denim jacket to the park, and an oversized sweatshirt worn as a dress, cinched at the waist with a belt when I'm out wearing leggings.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.


Insecure is one of my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less

Making A Food Instagram Was The Greatest Silver Lining To Come Out Of My COVID-19 Experience

With the crazy and scary times that 2020 has brought, find comfort in the one thing everyone loves: food.

The waiter briskly moves towards us and stops just a foot away table, balancing the black serving tray stacked high with the ceramic plates that make-up our dinner. From memorization, he beings gently, but purposely, sliding everyone's orders in front of them and within seconds I'm am starring my meal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments