Term papers are the product of desperation, torment and student tears. It's a fact you learn soon after entering college, and there is no escaping it. Sometimes you'll get lucky and the term paper assignment you receive is a reflection and only requires two double-spaced pages. Other times you'll get the worst assignment possible, such as a--God forbid--12 page, 10 source research paper (shudder). I'm afraid I'm at the latter end of the spectrum, so naturally instead of writing it, I find myself thinking of all of the things I'd rather be doing than staring at a blank screen. The following list is a result of this procrastination tactic.

1. Swim to Hawaii.

2. Learn how to speak Latin.

3. Leave the country and change my name.

4. Have lunch with Donald Trump.

5. Run a marathon.

6. Hike the Grand Canyon in 100 degree heat. Twice.

7. Eat a bowl of nails for breakfast. Without any milk.

8. Listen to Friday by Rebecca Black for 24 hours straight.

9. Paint the entire exterior of a four-story building pink.

10. Build a card tower with 20 decks of cards.

11. Cut grass with a pair scissors.

12. Run bare-footed across hot coals.

13. Cry.

Good luck to all those writing dreaded term papers at the end of this semester!