Your heart starts pounding, your hands start to sweat, thoughts are racing in your head and you feel an unwanted source of fear in the pit of your stomach. This, my friends, is what anxiety feels like. Dealing with anxiety is something most people deal with on a daily basis, and unfortunately it's hard to make it go away on your own. However, the hardest part about dealing with anxiety is the assumptions and judgements from those who don't understand what we're going through. I'm over here battling with myself internally to keep myself together, and you telling me to simply "cut it out" isn't going to help at all. In fact, it's just going to make me even more anxious. Here's a list of things you shouldn't say to someone with anxiety.
1. "It's all in your head."
I know. That's why it's called a mental disorder.
2. "Can't you just relax?"
Yeah, just give me an hour or two...
3. "Calm down."
I'm trying.
4. "Isn't there a pill you can take for that?"
Yeah, there are medications, but maybe those with anxiety problems don't want to depend on a drug.
5. "Do you really need medication for it?"
If that's the only way we can cope with our anxiety, then it's probably necessary.
6. "Are you doing this for attention?"
Seriously...?
7. "You're overreacting!"
Again... Seriously?
8. "I know how you feel."
Empathy is great, but I'd rather you share me your advice with how you cope with it.
9. "There are people going through worse stuff you know."
Yeah, I know. In fact, I feel for them and can't even imagine what others are going through. However, that doesn't mean you can belittle how I feel.
10. "What's wrong with you?"
Feeling like I'm not able to control myself and feeling like something is wrong in general. That's what's wrong.
11. "What do you have going on to be so stressed out about?"
I have personally heard this so many times and all I can say is what gives you the right to say that to someone without even considering their feelings?
12. "It's not that serious."
To you it may seem that way, but for me it feels like I'm losing myself.
13. "Everything is fine."
I know and I know you're just saying that to comfort me, but it's hard for me to simply believe that,
14. "At least you're physically OK."
Yeah, I get that, but shouldn't my mental health be treated like my physical health?
15. "Did I do something wrong?"
No! Not at all. I just get like this for no reason at all and it happens at the most random, unexpected and stressful times.
If you know someone who is dealing with anxiety, take a moment to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they are going through. You would want them to do the same for you. Trying to understand and help that person is honestly one of the best things you can do to help calm someone down and make them feel more comfortable.
