It's spring semester, finals are rapidly approaching, and there is one thing on everyone's mind: How am I going to fit in all the time I need to study for my finals? It's so beautiful outside that it's hard to concentrate. And even when the April showers are coming down and the sky is gloomy and dark, it's
still
hard to concentrate. The sheer pile of information you are trying to re-cram into your brain is
enough
to make you want to give up. So I present to you, the 15 things I'd rather be doing than studying.
1. Go to the park.
Nothing like the sweet sound of birds in the trees and a little fresh air, am I right?
2. Go to the beach.
Even better than the park. Salty waves, the feel of sand between your toes and the warm sea breeze are guaranteed to take your worries away.
3. Go to the movies.
A little cinematic entertainment will get you in the perfect mood to procrastinate.
4. Eat everything in my pantry.
I may be uncomfortably full and poop nonstop for the next three days, but I'd still rather do that than study.
5. Get my armpits waxed.
Surely the pain of having my armpit hairs ripped out by wax and tape is less than the pain of studying all night long.
6. Pick my nose.
Good ol' boogers. They're always there for me when I need them.
7. Hit my funny bone.
Hitting my funny bone is so funny, said no one ever!
8. Sniff a dirty diaper.
A dirty baby butt is more tolerable than studying for my finals.
9. Be chased by a rabid squirrel.
What a cute little AH! AH! DON'T EAT ME, NO!
10. Get stuck between two stinky people on public transportation.
The bus ride will end. Studying is forever.
11. Get lemon juice in my paper cut.
It can't possibly hurt that ba-- OK yeah, that hurts. That really hurts. Oh, it's starting to sting. I don't think I can finish the rest of my day. I'm in too much pain to use a pencil.
12. Spend a day in prison.
I'm sure these lovely people are just misunderstood.
13. Contract chicken pox.
Mmm, itchy. I don't have time to study. I'm too busy scratching.
14. Set off a car bomb. With me in it.
15. Die.
You've got it. I'd rather be dead than studying. Summer can't come fast enough .
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