Your living situation is so odd this year, and you can't seem to figure it out. You seemingly mind your own business and yet your roommates can't stand you! You heard them complaining about you the other day and you're floored. They are such horrible roommates.
Or are they?
Wondering if you might be the problem? Let me give you the quick and simple answer: yes. Yes you are. Still not sure? Here's an easy guide to tell if you're a horrible roommate or not.
1. You don't take out the trash or recycling.
We're both staring at that trash can and we both know that I've taken it out three times this month. Be an adult. Take out the trash or be trash.
2. You have a pet and never clean up after them.
I don't care how adorable Dr. Leonard Snuffleupagus is. There's dog-related trash everywhere and it's your responsibility.
3. You don't do dishes.
It's not a difficult scenario. You dirty a dish, then you wash a dish. You can't just dump them in the sink and wait for the cleaning fairy to get sick of looking at them and clean them.
4. You're loud at all hours of the night.
And all hours of the day as well, but the night is more important since the rest of us are usually trying to sleep.
5. You have loud, uninvited guests over to the apartment at weird hours.
This in turn leaves your roommates scared and confused as they stand naked in the shower in a bathroom that opens up to a hallway where guests could potentially see them in nothing but a towel. How to escape...?
6. You share a bathroom and never help clean.
And you're a nasty human with a long dark beard,hair or strange goos everywhere. Or a sorry soul with a stomach condition who never cleans the toilet.
7. You leave the front door unlocked or open at night for strange hooligans to trespass or zombies to get in.
8. You ask your roommates for money and never pay them back in full.
9. Food is not sacred to you.
This ain't a free for all, buddy. Sure you can use a little of the butter I bought or the sugar out on the counter, but that sandwich is not yours. No your friend can't have half of that cake when I'm not home. I don't care if your hungry; you already have food, so eat it.
10. You and your romantic partner have loud romantic activities in your roommates' close vicinity.
Gross. I know you love each other and all, but I like that couch for chilling and TV binge-watching. I'd rather not be scarred for life every time I sit on it, thanks.
11. You borrow things without asking.
Like my shoes or makeup or food. It's basically stealing. Which is illegal and a SIN. Rude.
12. You break something and then hide it.
So ... are we children again, or...?
13. You have a live-in girlfriend or boyfriend.
They aren't paying rent. They aren't buying groceries or doing chores. We didn't agree for them to be here. Make them leave or you both can get out. You choose.
14. You're a ghost.
Who are you? We don't know. We never see you. But suddenly there are dishes in the sink or a backpack in the living room or we hear the laundry mysteriously running at 2 a.m. and we have no idea who's doing it.
15. You're the emperor of drama.
You love gossip. You love to talk bad about other people all up in this place. Heck, you'll gossip about our other roommates with me, even though they're in the apartment too. You rush into the house and suddenly burst into tears about how badly some new guy or girl "broke your heart" and then you all are back together the next week, only to do the same thing a month later. You and your friends are always fighting with each other or with your roommates. Your family is over all the time or your boyfriend/girlfriend is throwing a tantrum every day.
Coming home to the apartment is like coming home to the apocalypse when living with you.
Resolution
If you checked off any of these boxes, it may be time to let your roommates have that intervention they've been planning for months where they'll either be patient, sweet people and talk to you about their problems with you -- or they'll have been driven to the extreme and kick you out of the apartment.
It might not be too late, though!
Don't continue burning bridges, and fix yourself. Do the dishes. Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that it's not cool for them to be there 24/7. Quiet yourself. Respect boundaries. Calm down. Adult up.
You too could be the perfect roommate -- just give an effort and be kind.
