Brothers are pretty cool sometimes. Sure, you fight, you disagree and you wonder how the heck you’re related to someone so weird and annoying. But at the end of the day, he’s the only one who knows exactly what your life has been like and comes from exactly the same place as you. And that’s pretty awesome. Someday, another woman will take my former spot, standing by my brother’s side through everything, but not before she passes my test. So, this one’s for you, my older brother’s future wife.
1. Make an effort with our family, especially me. Your future with my brother is going to be difficult if you don’t at least try to get along with the most significant people in his life. Even if I don’t necessarily like you, I can tell when you’re making an effort and when you clearly don’t care enough to even try. Let’s aim for the former.
2. Be on time and make him do the same. Trust me, he’s usually late enough without your help. But seriously, timeliness is a sign of respect. Don’t expect him to wait for you while you take four hours to get ready and expect him to do the same for you.
3. Keep him clean. God knows he needs some motivation to put away his laundry and take out the trash.
4. Keep your relationship classy (and private). I don’t need to read 17 sappy posts on Facebook every week. I don’t need to see pictures of you all kissing. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some great ways to show your affection over social media, and that’s fine. But don’t overdo it.
5. Expect chivalry... Because I know mama didn’t raise no tool.
6. … But don’t make him break the bank for you. Absolutely, he should treat you sometimes. But, the financial burden shouldn’t totally be on him. Make your relationship a progressive one, in that respect. I mean, it is 2016.
7. Don’t rush it. If he isn’t ready to move forward with your relationship, know that it isn’t because he doesn’t love you. Marriage is a huge commitment and if he isn’t ready be patient.
8. Expect his love, but don’t expect all of his time. If you’re taking him away from what he used to think was important, you’re probably not good for him. And for your sake, independence is so important. You don’t always need him to take care of you -- assert your dominance when you can.
9. Don’t force him to be someone he’s not… Sure, he’s messy, hardheaded, sports-obsessed and very open about his strong political beliefs. But all that shows is his passion. Let him have the things he loves.
10. …But also, don’t take any crap from him. There’s a fine line between stubborn and rude. If he crosses it, call him out on it. If he’s mean to you, don’t sit back and let him insult you. Stand up for yourself.
11. Be on my good side. If you aren’t, you better believe he’ll hear about it. This doesn’t mean that you have to go to extremes or anything; simply being nice and friendly will suffice.
12. Push him a little… Hold him accountable for his actions, and make him think about his future. Sometimes he needs a little motivation to do his best.
13. …But don’t play mom. He’s already got one of those, and she does the job far better than you ever could.
14. Don’t bully him or make him feel less than he is. My brother is an amazing, intelligent, capable individual (don't tell him I said that!), and if you make him feel like he isn’t, it’s a problem.
15. And most importantly, know that you will always have to share him. Before you came into the picture, my brother had women who were incredibly important and influential to him. Don’t expect or ask for that to change, you’ll definitely be unsuccessful.
