1. He understands the importance of milk.

"which is water that is lying about being milk"

2. Ice cream cones are serious business.

Or as Ron would say, "This isn't a joke, son."

3. He loves his country.

'Murica. We're all Ron Swanson on Independence Day.

4. He's not afraid to say No.

"You got games on your phone?" "Can I touch your hair?" "Can I have some of your food?"

5. He has good coping mechanisms.

5. I mean, really good coping mechanisms.

6. He does what he wants.

Freedom and stuff.

7. Food.

# goals

8. Life doesn't phase him.

He's an expert at this.

9. When life does phase him...

He understands the importance of a good meltdown.

10. He is a man of few words.

And he understands that human interaction is mostly ridiculous.

11. He is honest.

And by "not sure," he means "absolutely not."

12. Salad is the food his food eats.

He knows what being at the top of the food chain is all about.

13. He knows how to maintain professional relationships.

14. He has priorities.

Once again, food good, people bad.

15. He plays a mean saxophone.

And don't we all wish we could soothe with the smooth sounds of jazz?